BFDI/BFB Fairytales

Little Red Riding Pin

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Little Red Riding Pin. She lived with her older sister Needle in a cottage on the outskirts of a mysterious, dark forest.

"Narrator, why... why would we live there? That doesn't seem very safe," Needle interjected.

Because y'all are broke. Also, Eggy lives in a small house within the woods and for whatever reason, you need to live near her.

"Okay, first of all," Eggy said, suddenly appearing onstage. "Are you ACTUALLY making me the Grandma?"

Well, uh, yeah. Sorry, I didn't know who else to put there.

"Secondly, considering how much I value my safety, and how fragile I am, it makes no sense for me to live in the middle of a dark and mysterious forest," Eggy continued.

Look, you're broke as well, okay? It's the best you can do.

Anyway, continuing on, one day, the two pointy sisters found out that their dear egg pal was sick, so-

"Wait, I'm sick?!" Eggy interrupted. "With what?!"

Look, that really isn't important right now-

"Check WebMD!" Pin yelled.

Seriously, Pin? I thought you were smarter than that.

"Oh no! It says I have a very rare genetic sprained HIV tumor disorder syndrome and that I only have five seconds left to live!" Eggy gasped.

...Dude, that doesn't even make any sense. It sounds like someone just threw a bunch of things that could go wrong with your health into a randomizer and just read off the first few phrases they found. But then again, what did you expect from WebMD?

"Can-can we get back to the story?" Needle asked.

Alright. So anyway, Pin decided to deliver one of her famous cakes to Eggy in an attempt to make her feel better.

"Huh? Did someone call my name?" Cake asked, appearing suddenly and looking very confused.

Oh no, not you, Cake, you're fine. We were just discussing Pin's baking.

"...oh, ok..." Cake said, disappearing offstage again.

Anyway, before Pin set off to deliver her cake to Eggy, Needle made sure to give her an important reminder.

"Alright, Pin," Needle said, "I need you to remember one rule. Don't ever-"

"Call you Needy? Yup, got it," Pin replied.

"No- I mean, yeah, I don't want you to do that either- but that's not what I was going to say."

"Well, what were you going to say?" Pin asked.

"Don't ever, and I mean EVER, talk to strangers."

There was a pause before Pin replied in a flat voice, "Needle, I'm not a child. I'm not going to follow a random stranger into her supervan because she told me she had the Cattle for Dream Island inside."

What a strangely specific example. Is there any context behind that?

"No," Pin and Needle answered simultaneously.

Okay then...

"Alright, alright! I won't talk to strangers. Is that all you wanted to say?" Pin asked, annoyed.

"I think so," Needle said. "Oh wait, also, don't call me Needy!"

"Didn't I just say I already got that?" Pin asked, getting impatient. She went out the door, stopping to look back at her fellow pointy pal. "Anyways, bye, Needle! I'm going to help Eggy with her very rare genetic sprained HIV tumor disorder syndrome and give her cake!"