Shock

Chapter 13

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, but I couldn't find the right words.

"No, I'm not planning to, I was actually thinking about leaving tomorrow morning," I just spit it out.

His face fell a little, "why?"

"Because.." I said, not knowing how to explain myself with out offending any one.

I couldn't stay because I don't trust people. I've been on my own, and I've found it simpler; just easier.

"You've changed since the last time you were here," he said quietly.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"I mean, you've opened up to people, you're actually talking to people. Yeah, you won't let people get inside your head, or let them know anything, but you're actually talking. You just seem happier. And if you leave, you could close off again, but if you stay, I think you'll continue to become happier, and actually learn to enjoy the little things in this world. I know you didn't shut out everyone and everything because you wanted to, I know something happened, but I want you to know that you don't have to be facing it alone. You should stay, continue to be around people, you're better off this way Hallie."

When I didn't say anything for a couple of minutes, I could tell Carl was getting uneasy, but I didn't know what to say, so I started to walk away which only caused him to grab my elbow.

"Don't. Just let me think it through," I said shrugging off his grip and heading towards the guard tower.

When I finally made it to the top of the stairs, I was out of breath and my calf was throbbing.

I sat down on the concrete floor, and just stared out at the sun setting over the walkers pressed up against the fences.

Maybe Carl is right, I have changed. Know matter how much I tell myself I don't need to be around people, that the survivors in this world are only sick, twisted people, that makes me one too. And I'm finding it that its a human need to be around people, you can't go forever by yourself by choice. What's stopping me from staying? This group seems like a decent group, I mean I lead more people here, so a part of me definitely has to think this is a good place.

I got lost in my thoughts, Rick had already come back with the rest of the group, luckily everyone was okay, and before I knew it the sun was long gone. Soon exhaustion came rolling down on me. Sleepily, I made my way to my cell, not passing many people, everything was quiet.

When I got to my cell, I found my bow and quiver filled with my arrows placed on my bed. Carl must have brought them after I walked away.

I was too lazy to move them, so I just climbed up to top bunk, and sleep washed over me as soon as I hit the pillow.

As soon as I opened my eyes the next morning, everything came flooding back.

If I was going to leave, it would have to be this morning, and I'd have to leave soon.

Making sure to keep little weight on my calf, I climbed down from the bunk and slipped on my belt with my quiver.

I told myself that I would leave, so I'm going to. These people did shoot me, and for the Governor to hate them, and go after this group like he did, something must be wrong.

Picking up my bow, I turned to walk out of my cell, but as soon as I took a step out, I was pushed back in.

"You can't seriously be leaving," Carl said as he stood in the doorway.

I went to step around him, but he quickly blocked the cell using his arms and body as a wall.

"I never asked my question yesterday," I said sighing and stepping back from the door.

He scrunched his face slightly, "what is it?"

"What did Rick whisper to you yesterday right before he left?" I haven't been able to stop wondering what he's said.

"I don't see how that has to do-"

"Just answer it," I cut him off.

Carl started looking at everything but me.

"He um, he told me to watch you and stick with you while he was gone," he spoke slowly.

The only person I really talked to here was Carl, and he didn't do it by choice. Nobody cared about me at this place, and why should they? It wouldn't make a difference to them if I left, it would just be one less person.

"I'm going," I said trying to push by Carl.

He grabbed my shoulders stopping me from moving, "why? Why do you want to leave so badly?"

"If you haven't noticed, you're the only one I've actually really talked to, and you didn't do it willingly. It wouldn't make a difference to any of you if I left, it would only make it easier on you guys," I left out the part about the issue of trusting this group, trusting anybody really.

"Give this place a chance, give us a chance, you haven't been around here long enough."

I just shook my head, waiting for him to let go of me.

"Well if you're gonna leave, you should know that since the last time you left, I haven't stopped thinking about you. I don't know what it is, but you just won't leave my mind Hallie. I want you to stay. And I can tell you want to stay even if you won't admit it to yourself," he paused to let go of my shoulders, "just please don't leave."

Does he really mean that? I small part of me will always believe he doesn't, but I can't help that the bigger part of me wants to believe everything he's told me, and to see where this goes.

Even I couldn't deny the fact that being around people, even being around this group for a day has changed me, its brought me back to almost how I used to be.

And the more I think about it, Carl is the one who has been bringing me back.

"Now how do you think I could ever leave after you say something like that?" I say laughing a little.

"So you're staying?" he asks, a small smile beginning to form at the corner of his lips.

"Yup," I replied, turning and walking to my bed to put my bow down.

As soon as my bow left my finger tips, I felt two arms wrap around my waist from behind. Out of instinct I shrieked, but it soon turned to laughing as I was picked up and spun in a circle.

When my feet were firmly on the ground again, I turned to face Carl.

"You know, I'm not the only one that's changed recently," I said still smiling.

I couldn't help but compare Carl from the day he shot me, where he was closed off and just seemed angry at everything, to now, where he is just staring at me, smiling.

He looked down before looking back at me, "all thanks to you," he said embracing me in a hug.

"Carl!!" Rick's voice boomed through the cell block.