𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍(BXB ONESHOTS)

Crazy in Love- Slumptacion

trigger warning- mention of murder, obsession

-

Jahseh

"When did these feelings for Stokeley Goulbourne flourish, Jahseh?" The doctor said, clicking her smooth wooden fountain pen open and flipping over to a clean page in her notes. It was a black, solid notebook. Most likely sewn since it didn't have any rings. His light brown eyes looked up at her, lost, unresponsive, and confused. What made her think that there were feelings for the older man he knew as 'Stokeley Pokeley'? Well, there was a story but it was too long. Years long. Too long to put in a book, too long to put in a paragraph, too long to even put in a string of sentences.

Usually, Jahseh hated being struck with a question or problem he couldn't solve. But apparently the psychologist wasn't the problem but the solution. Solution to help solve his issue. Or issues as his mother, Cleopatra like the name on his chest, used to put it.

The thought of needing somebody else to help him seemed foolish. It angered him and annoyed him all the same. Yet his lips stayed press together tightly. His jaw relaxed but his fists clenched in the pockets of his hoodie. He wanted to get back into the real world, but he needed a check of sanity first. To make sure he wasn't a bother or a menace.

For some reason he felt like he had done it a million times. All for the same person.

"Jahseh." The blonde woman spoke again, gentle and procedural. It sickened him, but he stayed calm. He had to work the system once again, for he didn't want to stay here. Not a night, or even an hour. Not more than he needed to. "Where did you find Stokeley Goulbourne?" She pressed, eyebrows furrowing behind her black frames.

He wondered why the woman was saying his name that way. So pointedly. Like he was a stamp to everything. As if he was the start of the chain of reactions leading to this moment. But he wasn't, because Stokeley was perfect. His Stokeley was perfect. No matter what anyone said.

I didn't, was what he wished he could say. He wished she or anyone could hear his thoughts, so save the talking. He was always talking to someone or another. She could feel her eyes, and they were judging him. No matter how many times doctors said they would never judge a patience, especially by physical appearance, they were lying. Doctors were always liars. No matter what she said, he knew for a fact she was judging him. By the color of his skin, to his half dyed hair, to the tattoos on him.

Before he could even think to finish his thoughts, the woman in front of him began to talk again. Fuck, she talked a lot. Was she talking this whole time?

"Jahseh, I want to help you. But I can't help you if you don't open up. I want you to get better and to go home as soon as this investigation is over with." That's what caught his attention. Over with. He wanted everything to be over, and he wanted his love back. He wanted everyone to believe he wasn't crazy. So he began to talk.

"Its torture being in love."

-

Things were different from the beginning for younger Jahseh. Love seemed so dumb, and unbelievably simple. It was like one plus one. Yes, it hurt a little but it wasn't that bad. It was still love. Unbreakable emotion. That everything love. That tingly giddy feeling in your chest no matter how bad you probably felt. It was innocent, sweet, and long lasting. Its how the movies depicted the critical emotion, how celebrity relationships depicted love in front of the cameras, how everyone in love was supposed to be.