Thorns & Horns

Chapter One

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•••

Breathe.

I let the air fill into my lungs, but once more they close up. And I'm gasping. Only gasping on the inside.

I feel my throat become tighter, as if someone placed a noose around it, tugging from behind.

I clasp onto anything I can find, and right now it's the wooden arm holders around the leather seat I'm placed in.

I look around the room until I eye the window in the right corner.

"Hadley?"

My head jerks right at the sound of my name.

I look back at my therapist as she stares deep into my eyes. I recognize the concern swarming in her hazel globes, I've seen quite a few concern looks these past months.

But I also see confusion mixed in with the concern. Like she's trying to figure me out.

I glance away as I notice I had been staring to long, but that doesn't stop her from taking her eyes off of me.

She watches me like a hawk. I feel like my every move is being recorded.

Wait, is it?

I glance around the room looking for any hidden cameras.

"Hadley dear, how have you been?"

The question doesn't shock me, but I still flinch every time Dr. Boone asks me the same question in our sessions.

"I've been alright." And I always give her the same answer.

By now she should know that I'm lying, but she makes no move to point that out. In fact, she always gives me her signature smile every time those words leave my mouth.

"How have you been adjusting?" She asks, looking down at her notepad, waiting for my next script.

"I'm adjusting quite well." Another lie.

She looks up at me and smiles, again.

Seriously, why is she smiling all the damn time?

"Have you been experiencing anymore nightmares?"

It's hard to swallow down this lie.

"No, I've been sleeping just fine." I haven't been. Anyone could notice from the dark purple bags under my eyes. But yet again, Dr. Boone looked back down at her notepad with a smile.

I looked at the clock that read five. My session was over.

"I'll see you next Sunday Hadley." Dr. Boone smiled up at me as I made my way to leave.

"Looking forward to it Dr. Boone." Another freaking lie.

•••

"How was your session today?" My mother asks as she places her things on the table right next to the couch.

I was rewatching Full House as it played on our flat screen, in our open spaced living room.

Not taking my eyes off of the television, I answer her. "It was fine."

"That's your same answer every time I ask you."

I sigh out in annoyance, "Maybe if you asked me a different question, you just might get a different answer. Or better yet, don't ask questions at all."

I regret the words as soon as they leave my lips. I wish I could reach for them, and shove them back down my throat.

I can clearly see the hurt displayed on my mom's face.

I know she only asked me questions like these everyday cause she was genuinely concerned.

I take a deep breathe and turn off the television.

"I'm sorry. I just have a headache, I think I might head in early." I say, as I make my way past my mother.

"Are you sure sweetheart, I can fix you some dinner if you'd like?" She responds. I can pick up the hopeful tone in her voice as it begs me to stay.

But I crush any hope for her.

"No, I'm not that hungry. Thank you though."

I look back and see my mom's face falls. "Oh, okay. Well get some rest. Love you."

"You too."

I make my way upstairs and into my bedroom. I plop down on my queen sized bed, and plunge under the black comforter.

I sigh as I go to pick up my phone on my nightstand. Dozens of texts display my screen, and I clear them all, one by one.

No one sees much of me anymore. I'm either cooped up in the comfort of my room, or you can find me at the playground, a couple blocks down from here.

I don't see much reason to go out as much, to converse with anyone. Cause every time I do, I just put on a mask. I hide my real emotions.

The ones that destroy me the most.

And I hate that.

•••

Short chapter, and yet again, starting on another book. I don't know why but I get these inspirations and I just have to write them.