The Lost and the Broken

Never forget

Anyway, back on track.

You'll realise this about me; I tend to go off on tangents, talking about multiple strands at the same time. Bit annoying but, what I wanted to get to was the empty seat.

It had been four days since he'd gone. Gone and left me in this hellhole. Before y'all get excited, this is just my best friend, Billy. That guy. Makes me a smile at how dumb that kid is. But all you can do is smile. You have to cos now he's gone.

His seat in class, remained untouched, perfect almost. Except for the fact he wasn't in it causing a world of problems for our teacher. I never thought one solitary chair could make a whole room feel empty. Lonely. Or was that just me?

Where the fuck was he?

I know he was mad but...

So the thing is, there was an incident four days ago.

We had this thing, it's silly when you say it out loud but it was OUR thing - we'd go down to the city, pop a few pills...nothing too heavy, just enough to get us buzzed, then we'd experience the regular people. Chatting and the like but we'd pretend we were someone else and recently that hadn't been enough.

He just had to take it that little bit further, always. Y'see, here's the line...we all know the line and he always had to dip just a toe over that into the next world and sometimes you regain your balance and go back to safety but sometimes, it sucks you across. And that's what happened this time. It's always waiting, just for one fucking stupid idiot to dip a couple of toes, even a foot in and then they got you.

The sun was beating down so hard that day, blinding. He was happy because it meant all the girls were wearing less, he was in heaven. Maybe that was what contributed to his idiocracy, it happens to all boys, any age, the blood drips down and then...BAM! Like Clark Kent they change but minus the super-ness...you know what I'm talking about.

Anyway, there we were, strolling about just waiting for it to kick in; we were in clothes shops trying on clothes we wished we could afford, ray bans and levis, you name it, we wore it. Oh and that was before we became 'famous person of your choosings' personal shopper!

"That would look great on you!" or the one that always seems to get us a private escort, "That's sweet, for your daughter?"

That usually takes us off to the next stop, the Diner.

As we slump into our regular booth, it's business as usual. Teens skipping class, blue-collars necking their coffees by the gallon and then there we are, toasting our success and then it hits us. Like a tidal wave you can't quite run away from, running until whooosh, it consumes you and as we slide deeper down into ourselves, the world disappears a little bit more with each passing second. As our eyes grow heavier, our smiles grow wider and we're back.

Now I know you're thinking but what incident? I'm coming to that. See, this is where our journey usually ends; we order a shitload of food and shakes and then we stumble off, heads held as high ('scuse the pun) as we can manage but something happened with Bill, somehow, this time, it wasn't enough. Why, I'll never know but, he started getting restless and started scanning the room like he was expecting something or someone to be there. I never really noticed it until now but he needed more.

So, this group of boys and girls had been sat in a booth, fairly loud but nothing to write home about. Anyway, Billy went off to the bathroom but stopped off at this booth and got caught up in something. It all seemed so innocent at first, just making friends with everyone (that's usually just reserved for when we're drinking...but that's another story), he was laughing with the guys, really familiar like and then he made a beeline for one of the girls. Sofie, I knew of her, not sure how but I did. I'd recognise that haircut anywhere, so fucking cool. There's always one. Sofie was that girl that just oozed cool but in her case, she was literally dripping in it. So unassuming, quietly confident, just smiled and smoked her menthols,. Like something out of The Runaways.

So there they were, flashing smiles and eyes all over the place. Then she laughed and with a wink he'd disappeared off to the bathroom. Thing is she had a boyfriend and as with all girls like that, they had boyfriends you did not want to fuck with. Nobody knew much about him, he was older, not in school, hell I don't even know his name. But something wasn't right, I don't know if it was Billy, Sofie or her meathead boyfriend but the whole situation stunk to hell.

It's still kinda hazy but as soon as he entered the scene, her smile disappeared quick smart and he was burning a hole in that door which had my Billy on the other side. I remember having to compose myself and I just started sipping on my shake until there was hardly anything left. I closed my eyes and everything stopped for a second. I hate things fucking with my high and this was definitely fucking with my high. Shit. Then, I felt something at the back of me. I could feel his eyes. I knew turning round was the last thing I should do but it was a car-crash moment so I turned my head round slowly and there he was. Eyes trained firmly on mine, I was struggling to keep eye contact but I did. Couldn't turn away from the accident stood before me. Then something happened I wasn't expecting. He started to smile at me. Was he checking me out? I was frozen for a second then I broke away and went back to my shake. Jesus. I closed my eyes tight just wanting things to go back to normal and for Bill to get the fuck back to our table.

Then I looked up and they were gone.

I looked out the window but got caught up by several of the waiters storming into the bathroom. All I could hear was shouting but there wasn't anger in their voice, it was fear. I stood up slowly and made my way over to the noise. As I walked closer, everything seemed to move in slow motion. I wanted to run but my legs were so heavy now. Then I saw a waiter rush out and go straight for the phone and he had this look on his face, like, horror. Then he stepped out from behind the counter and I saw what was freaking him out so much.

There was blood all over his apron.