—
you're beautiful, she says.
but deep down we don't feel the same, we eat one bad thing and beat ourselves up for it, we don't fit the exact "perfect girl" and beat ourselves up over it.
we flip through magazines, scroll through instagram and see how "perfect" people are. knowing that we'll never be that. whether it's because of how we look, or how we sound. there's something telling us, we can never be like that.
some starve, some try to find a diet, some workout. or some do at least 2/3 if not all.
some apply makeup, change their hair around to hide some of the bad features.
but the results don't come quick enough, nor fast enough. we can still see the flaws, the ugliness that we believe is there.
some days we feel on top of the world, but other days we hate ourselves for what's on the outside, instead of loving ourselves on the inside.
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I came up with this because I'm currently struggling with my weight. I'm trying to get in shape, and not be heavy, but I don't know- just don't have the motivation and it sucks a lot. like I wish I had motivation, and I'm going to re-start once again today, and post it on a platform where I could possibly get some motivation. hopefully. but I'm just going to not eat too much. since I have work tomorrow, hopefully I won't eat too much.. just idk. I hate myself from time to time when I decide to not eat well/not work out. but sometimes I'm just so tired, and just deep down don't feel like it.
but it's a new day, new beginning, and I'll start being better today hopefully. because I just want to be skinny tbh.
