EyeLash [}Billie Eilish{]

I'm a mess

I couldn't catch my breath, my phone rang but I just threw it across the room. I thought I was actually going to die, I haven't felt this way in years. I haven't talked to Billie or Garrett in two weeks, avoiding there every call and staying shut up in my apartment with Tom. The court was going off tomorrow and things weren't looking good according to James. Billie was worried and Garrett was here every day for about a week and a half but then I cut him out. I couldn't bring anyone else into this spiral, He came by every day two or three times and I didn't answer the door. Tom was sleeping and I was a mess on the kitchen floor, I hated everything that was going on, I hated hurting Billie, I hated the thought of Tom being taken away. I hated that thought of having to try to explain this to him. He has to be at the court hearing too. I was so fed up with James, he was supposed to be on my side but it didn't feel like it.

Again a knock on my door, I covered my mouth with my again swollen hand. This time the knocks didn't stop after three or four. I held my head and cried harder after god knows how long the knocking stopped. I went to my fridge and grabbed my bottle of wine filled up my glass and leaned against the counter. As I stared into my glass I was ready to die if I'm honest.

"Gemma." My eyes shot up and the tears came quickly as I was being pulled into a tight hug. I didn't ask questions I just hugged back, I wanted to stop the tears but I couldn't.

"How... Why are you here?" I managed to say as I pulled away.

"Jesus you had me scared to fucking death." I couldn't help myself our lips met and the ache in my chest vanished. "Wow..."

"I'm sorry."

"It's ok..."

"Hey."

"Garrett, what are you doing here?" I asked looking up at him.

"You had us worried." I wiped my eyes.

"I'm a mess." I said looking down at my self.

"You are." Billie smiled nodding. She hugged me again and ran a hand through my hair. "You need to talk to me." She said.

"I know..." I sighed.

"Imma let you girls... do whatever, I'll be back later with food ok?"

"Thanks." Billie said to him. He smiled and left closing the door behind him. I looked up at Billie and smiled.

"I need to shower." I mumbled.

"I can help." She wiggled her eyebrows and I rolled my eyes.

"No." I smiled again. "How are you get here?" I asked.

"I have three day's off, I knew I needed to see you. I had Garrett pick me up from the airport and mom went to the hotel."

"I'm so happy your here." I hugged her again and she kissed my neck as we hugged. I showered and once I got dressed I walked into the living room where Billie was sitting, she opened her arms and I sat beside her. She cuddled into me tightly.

"Talk to me."

"court goes off tomorrow and I need to explain to Tom what's going on because he has to be there."

"Are you serious?" She mumbled and I nodded. "He's two!"

"I know... and James said it doesn't look good because they want him there and they didn't kick up a massive stink to get him into foster care prior to the trial and that could mean they wanted to trick me into a false sense of hope." I took in a deep breath and Billie turned to look at me.

"I'm right here ok, no matter what happens. I will be right here and so will Garrett." I looked at her face for a long minute and then I kissed her, I needed to. I needed her right here right now.

"Thank you, Billie."

"Don't thank me, I right here always."

"Hey." Garrett walked in with takeaway, I haven't really eaten in the past few weeks. I wasn't hungry, but I knew I needed to look strong tomorrow so I ate.

"Man that's fucking bull shit, if you told me this sooner I would have gotten you a better lawyer."

"He was the best I could afford."

"I would have paid for it!" Billie sighed.

"I just... tomorrow is going to be hell." Billie leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Ok, I'm sorry I need to say something." Garrett said putting up his hand.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm sitting, and eating burritos- very shitty burritos might I add. With Billie Eilish and my best friend." I laughed lightly and so did Billie.