It's You

Chapter Nine

All I'm going to say is I'm sorry

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Four months later, May 14th

I adjust my shirt, my hands shaking with nerves.

Today is the day.

My last day of work for the summer was a today and I told myself that, if I hadn't gotten the nerve to tell the Moran's about Declan by my last day, I was going to suck it up and do it anyways.

So I'm doing it today. I asked them if we could have dinner, that I had to talk to them. They were excited, Camilla planned the whole thing.

Aiden is coming for moral support.

Just thinking about him makes my heart skip a beat.

He's everything. I am so irrevocably in love with him, but I'm still trying my best to hide it, because I would rather have him as my best friend than not at all.

I carry Declan on my hip out to my Honda CRV and buckle him in.

After months of living with my parents, I finally have enough money saved after purchasing my car to get a down payment on an apartment, so tomorrow I'm going apartment hunting.

I get in my car and start the engine, sitting there for a moment.

I'm so nervous to do this.

I back out of the driveway, listening to Declan cooing and shaking his toys the whole time, saying "Mama" over and over again

I answer him every time he says my name, and then he starts making noises like he's talking to me.

I love him so much.

I park in the street out front of the Moran house and just sit there, taking a couple deep breaths.

I'm so nervous. I'm not ready for Ali's reaction.

Will she ever forgive me? Her and I have grown distant since I moved back. I was terrified that if I got close to her, she would show up at my house and find Declan.

So instead, I got really close to Aiden.

"Mama!" Declan squeals.

"Yes?" I smile.

He starts cooing again.

I get out of the car and walk around to the back seat.

I unbuckle him and then sit there and watch him gnaw on his toys for a couple more minutes. My chest aches painfully as I reach out and pick him up from the car seat, grabbing the diaper bag.

I rest him on my hip and lock the car, walking up the steps to the front door.

I take a few deep breaths, knock twice, and then walk in.

I set the diaper bag on the floor, carrying Declan with me. I peek my head into the kitchen and see they're all here, sitting at the table talking.

"Hey kid." Peter says.

"Hey." I say shakily.

"Are you alright?" Camilla asks.

"Yeah, uh, I'm fine." I say. Aiden nods at me because he knows what I'm doing. "Listen guys, I asked if we could have dinner because I have to tell all of you something. I just don't know how you're going to react." I say.

"What is it?" Ali asks.

I look at Declan, who is chewing on his toy, and then step all the way into the kitchen.