It's You

Chapter Twenty Two

Declan stands in the living room in his diaper, playing with some toys.

I lean against the kitchen counter in my pajamas, my hair thrown into a messy bun, watching him play.

I glance down at my watch and see it's nearing nine.

I was going to suggest Aiden, Declan and I go out to breakfast, but he's still sleeping and I don't want to wake him up, so I wander over to the kitchen and open up the fridge, pulling out the eggs, some bacon, and a few pieces of fruit.

I get a spatula, a bowl, a fork, a knife, a cutting board, and a pan, glancing back at Declan.

The kitchen is straight across from the living room, so it's easy for me to watch him.

I wash my hands and start cutting up the fruit, frowning at the silence in the apartment.

I grab my phone off the countertop and shuffle my Spotify, turning down the volume so it won't wake up Aiden.

He's been working so much this week. He needs to rest.

I hear If This is Love by Ruth B start to play and I hum softly as I start to chop up the fruit, glancing behind me every few seconds to check on Declan.

I hum all through the first song, tossing the fruit into a bowl.

Great One by Jessie Reyez comes on next, and I begin singing quietly as I start making the bacon.

Halfway through the song I start singing normally, glancing down the hallway. The bedroom door is shut, so I know he's still sleeping.

As I flip the bacon, Unthinkable by Smiley comes on and I openly sing. I can't stand silence, and I like singing, just not with an audience.

I glance back at Declan and start taking bacon out of the pan, tossing more into the pan.

The song fades into silence, and then If I Were a Boy by Beyoncé comes on, and I hold nothing back, tapping my foot with the beat as I go.

If I were a boy

I think I could understand

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

cause he's taken you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

I sing along, flipping the bacon, and then my favorite part comes on.

If I were a boy

I think I could understand, oh

How it feels to love a girl

I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her

Cause I know how it hurts

When you lose the one you wanted

Cause he's taken you for granted

And everything you had got destroyed

I put the bacon on the plate and cover it with a paper towel, cracking some eggs into the pan as I keep singing.

It's a little too late for you to come back

Say, it's just a mistake

Think I'd forgive you like that?