Poem 1.9 ''Deluded''

17 8 5

by LonelyBlaired

by LonelyBlaired

There's only one thing that I've been losing up
The spirit of an empty soul
Hiding for so long

Pull me to the dark edges of love
As I became someone
I do not recognize

Staple me to a cross
Pierce my heart with a broken promise
And I will bleed all the cripled reasons why I'm heartless

The daylight was gone
Can't find my way to run
Cause mentally you punished me
Emotionally you scared me
And now all that's left of me you want to control

For every thorns of rose I touch
Makes my heart keep bleeding
For every deepest seas I swim
Makes my heart keep drowning
Yet, I still hold you in my arms

And like a fool I keep trying
I always keep trying until it became too much
I got in so deep that I lost who I was
But for your love was a curse, you deluded my undying love

All I had was you
Your love that I've always desire
Your promises that I've been keeping
Your smile that I've always wanted
But it's your love that causes my pain
Still you deceive me, you hurt me
And let my heart turn into stone and broke them into pieces

Why? Am I not enough?
Why did you leave me?
Am I difficult to love?
Am I not worth it?
You leave me with so many questions...
Questions that I want to ask
But afraid to know the answers of

I was stuck by this illusion called "us"
My heart was filled with nothing but the wounds and scars you've left
This emptiness every single day
Leaves me feeling so empty and down
As I am exhausted with this misery you brought
The pain and tears you have given
And there's no cure

I sighed and take a deep breath
Wiping my tears off
Asking myself what I've done
I messed up my life
I risk everything just to hold you
But it was still useless

I found myself constantly drowning
Been blinded by this reality I have
And afraid of being fool again
For I am being deluded
With your sweet lies...