stuff

wishing

Sometimes I wish that someone who knows that I'm going through something

That normally says,"what's wrong with you?"

I wish they would say,"what's broken with you?"

And I would wish they wouldn't judge me for opening up for telling them what I keep hidden deep inside me.

I wish I could erase those words they put into my when they said,"its your fault, you had a chance and blew it."

And I tried telling them,"you dont understand it's easier said then done."

But they only ignored my words and the pain in my voice.

The thing about being abused for so long is that it becomes more and more harder to leave the longer it happens to you. Even the thought of leaving an abusive situation doesn't feel right and sometimes your so use to the abuse it becomes the normal to you and without it just doesnt feel right.

I told that person I cant escape.
I told them their is no way out.

They suggested alternatives and I explained what would exactly happen if I went back with living with my other family members.

And they knew the abuse I've received from my other family members.

That one person who I trusted and was close to knew very well of my whole situation still said,"It was my fault."

Ever since that I just can't get that close with a person ever again in fear of hearing those words and feeling that aching pain in my chest again.