DEREK'S MATCH (DEREK #1) SAMPLE, NOW PUBLISHED

1. one of these nights

"Have you downloaded MATCH ME yet?"

"Huh?" I ask distractedly as I look up from the pot on the stove. The pasta is ready, and I grab the pan's handle and slide it onto the white plate. It falls perfectly, barely making any mess and I smile at myself, proudly. I grab a napkin and spin the plate around, cleaning the edges so it looks perfect.

"The MATCH ME app," Kim continues. "Have you downloaded it?"

I look at her, wondering if she's really asking me about a dating app right now. It's rush hour at the restaurant. Everyone is running around, working around the kitchen. The sound of food grilling and boiling and dishes clanging against each other as Jorge washes them fills the room. There are people talking at the same time, yelling and calling out orders. This is really what it's like behind the scenes of a fine dining restaurant. While customers enjoy their expensive meals, it's all kinds of chaos in the kitchen.

Working at a fine dining restaurant in New York City is exhausting. Somehow, it's harder than working at a fine dining restaurant in Oregon. I worked there for more than three years but they don't make this job easier. I moved here, to New York, about six months ago after I got accepted into culinary school. I know I didn't have to move all the way here for school. I could have done it in Oregon. I just wanted to get out. I wanted some adventure. Something different. Something new.

I got my adventure alright. Except it hasn't been the adventure I was hoping for. It's been a difficult, sad, and exhausting adventure. Everything is more demanding here. People always want more from you. Professors, bosses, and even friends. I met Kim in culinary school. She helped me get this job. She's really nice but sometimes she can be too much. Like right now. All I want to do is work and get through this shift so I can go home and sleep. I miss sleep. And here she is talking about an app.

"No," I say as I check the next order. "I haven't."

We move over to the stove as we work quickly to push the food out. We're on entrées tonight. It can easily be the most difficult station because we run out of the prep work often. I don't know why they don't increase prep. It's more expensive, I guess.

My dream is to become the executive chef of my own 3-star Michelin restaurant. Everyone knows 3-star Michelin restaurants are the epitome of a fine dining restaurant. That's the goal. I don't know how much I want it though. I want to give up every morning or every time I get yelled at at work or get so stressed about everything that I begin to cry. Life is not supposed to be this hard, right? Reaching your dream is not supposed to be this hard except it is. No wonder people give up all the time.

"I was at the bar yesterday and I decided to try it," Kim says as we work. "I ended up getting matched with the guy sitting a few seats down from me."

MATCH ME is a new dating app that everyone is into right now. It's the new Tinder apparently. I've never tried dating apps for one simple reason: they scare the shit out of me. Messaging someone that I don't know with the possibility of meeting them scares me. No one looks like their pictures. I don't think I could take the emotional rollercoaster that online dating is. I don't want to get catfished and I'm not just talking about looks. You can get catfished on people's personalities as well. No thank you. I already struggle enough with meeting guys in person. I don't need to add that kind of stress in my life right now.

"Dating apps are a scam, you know that right?" I tell Kim as we move around the kitchen. This is how you usually have a conversation during peak hour at the restaurant. It's in bits and pieces. I'd rather not have conversations, but Kim always seems to get the words out of me. She's just very easy to talk to. She reminds me of my sister. Thinking of Natalie makes me miss her.