DEREK'S MATCH (DEREK #1) SAMPLE, NOW PUBLISHED

18. bad gossip

On Wednesday, I wake up to really bad gossip.

Good for social media, bad for me.

I log into Instagram in the morning as I try to wake up. It's something I do every morning despite the fact that I know I shouldn't be on my phone so early. My notifications are in the thousands. I have over a hundred thousand followers now and I keep gaining them. It's crazy to think about the influence Derek has. I don't even know what to do with so many followers. I'm too nervous to post anything now.

As I scroll down my feed, I come across a post from one of those entertainment shows I follow. I followed them for the same reason everyone else does: entertainment. It's entertaining to read about celebrity gossip. It sounds horrible but it's the truth. Though I didn't know how horrible it actually is to find entertainment in gossip of those people until now.

There is a picture of Derek with a woman. They appear to be walking down the street and they're looking at each other and appear to have been laughing when the picture was taken.

Derek Collins is spotted with ex-girlfriend Sadie Brown Tuesday night as they get ready to promote their upcoming movie.

I sit up in bed as I stare at the picture and headline in disbelief. It's all over Instagram and Twitter. Derek is making me look like a fool again. God. Why is he doing this? Is he doing it on purpose? Am I just a game to him? Just entertainment to pass the time? Is he playing with me?

I knew something like this would happen. Celebrities are spotted with women all the time and I knew Derek wasn't going to be an exception. Of course, I know that his job requires him to be around women and even kiss them even on screen. I knew that. But it's not until this moment that I realize that I may not be cut out for this. I don't think I can be with Derek knowing he's going to be around women and kiss them and film sex scenes with them. Especially when that woman is his ex, whom he kissed for real and probably had sex with for real many times.

I can feel all of these thoughts begin to consume my head. I log out of social media and put my phone down. Then I get out of bed and get in the shower after I look at the time.

I feel numb as I shower then get ready for class.

My phone vibrates as I'm walking to school. I scowl at my phone when I see it's a text from Derek.

Good morning, Gin. I'll see you at 4. Miss you

I put my phone away angrily. Is he really acting like there's nothing going on? Like there aren't pictures of him with his ex trending on the internet?

What the hell was I thinking? Dating a celebrity wasn't going to be all easy and fun. I knew this was too good to be true.

I get to school and try my best to concentrate during class. We only have three weeks before the semester is over. It's been both the longest and shortest semester of my life. I'm excited for it to end. Then I can take a mini vacation to Newport. God knows I need it.

"By the look on your face, I can tell you've seen the pictures, right?" Kim asks after class is over. We're the only ones left in the room. I didn't rush out because I'm not going home. Derek is picking me up from here. I don't even know why I'm still going. I'm suddenly not in the mood. And what's the point of it anyway? If I'm thinking about ending this thing between us? Of course, deep down I know that I'm still going because I love spending time with him. I like Derek way too much. This is not good.

"Yes," I say with a sigh.

"Have you spoken to him?"

I shake my head. "No, he's acting like it's not happening."