With Great Loss, Comes great pain

Broken, broken.

Does reality ever just comes crashing into you ?
Just all at once the heaviness of the words you've muttered over and over finally take toll on your soul and you actually feel them.
You realize the sour taste they leave on your mouth is only because how true they are.
The truth is too harsh .
Too unforgiving.
Too damn real.
You put up a front
So strong and unwavering that you start to believe the act
Become the act
Embrace the act
But suddenly
In the most unexpected moments
At the most unexpected time 
Just standing in the kitchen
Making dinner
Your mask slips away
Leaving you defenseless and weak
Pain thrives on you
Feeds from you
Ohhh but the loss
The loss hits you the greatest
The words of condolences you've merrily accepted
Now mean nothing
They're only profanities
They don't numb the pain
Or reduce the loss 
You realize you lost so much
In so little time
That when the shock goes away
And when your thoughts drift away
You're left with an empty shell of the person you were once
You relive every memory
With new additions to the what if's
What could've happened
'Live the moment' they say
I can't live the moment when the moment is death
I can't live the moment knowing that there should've been more moments to come
More moments is all I ask for
And that's what I'll never get
I'll keep dwindling in the past
Like a broken record player
Watching scenes unfold
Broken, broken
Memories and feelings they hold
Broken, broken
Seeing stories of two people
But from one side it's told
Broken, broken.