The Waiter and The Musician (Ryden)

Chapter 8

Ryan tried again and again to talk to Brendon. He called, texted, even went to his house. Every time, Brendon ignored him. All Ryan wanted was for Brendon to come back, to pretend that night never happened and for them to be happy together again. But of course that didn't happen. Brendon had successfully ignored Ryan for two weeks and Ryan was getting really tired, slipping into a mindset he thought he long gotten rid of.

In a final attempt to get Brendon back, Ryan went to the diner. He walked in with his head down and went straight to his corner booth. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his head and scanned the room. Like a moth to a flame, his eyes were pulled to Brendon walking out of the kitchen with a tray full of food. Ryan's throat tightened. This is the first time he actually saw Brendon in two weeks and he looked just as handsome as ever.

Brendon served with that big smile and easy manner, bringing light everywhere he went. The customer's couldn't help but smile along with Ryan's sun. It wasn't until Brendon had turned did his smile fade away. The two locked eyes for a second before Brendon made his way back through the kitchen doors. Ryan got up after him, but stopped outside the doors.

Ryan had rehearsed what he wanted to say to Brendon, but all that went out the window once he saw Brendon. He looked so broken. He looked as if he'd barely slept the passed two week. Ryan hated that he saw a few new bruises moving up his arm. He knew what that meant and it made him sick to his stomach.

Ryan waited outside the doors trying to peek inside every time a server walked in or out of the kitchen. It wasn't until Sarah walked out of the door did Ryan lose the sliver of hope he had to get Brendon back.

"Sarah," his voice pleading her to let him talk to the boy. She gave him a pity look and shook her head.

"Ryan, you need to leave."

"Please. I just want to talk to him. Just for a minute." Sarah placed a hand on Ryan's chest and pushed him back gently. Ryan didn't protest as her hand guided him to the front door. Her touch was gentle but it took all the energy he had left. It didn't take long to feel the entrance door against his back.

"You need to leave him alone. I'm gonna drop by your place after my shift to pick up his things." Ryan peeked over Sarah's shoulder to see Brendon peeking out of the door. It wasn't hard to see Brendon's tears shine on his cheeks. Ryan pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded.

"Okay," he whispered as his voice cracked. He glanced once more at Brendon then pushed the door open. He walked out of the diner leaving everything he cared about behind. He didn't want to just give up like this, but he was just hurting himself more for trying.

When Ryan got home, he gathered everything that he could find that belonged to Brendon and Skylar and put them in a box. Everything was so final now. He thought back to the depression he had in high school. He saw therapists, took pills, and went as far as to hurt himself. He lost his family and friends years ago when he came out. All that felt like nothing now when compared to how he felt losing Brendon and Skylar.

Ryan made his way to his music room. He sat on a stool and stared at the wall. After a few minutes, which felt like hours, Ryan grabbed his guitar and ran his fingers over the stings. He strummed a soft melody as he continued to stare at the wall. His mind moved in slow motion as he thought of Brendon. He shut his eyes so the picture of Brendon was clear in his mind.

"I don't love you I'm just passing the time." Brendon told Ryan in his mind. "You could love me if I knew how to lie." Tears pushed their way out of Ryan's closed eyes. "But who could love me? I am out of my mind." Ryan's voice shook as he sang. "Throwing a line out to sea to see if I can catch a dream." Ryan's finger's moved robotically over the strings.