I stare with malice at the body I once called home,
I now know the meaning
of not recognizing your own reflection.
The treachery of my own mind working against me
is more then I can handle.
I'm lost in a wasteland of my own creation,
Too afraid to face the truth I hide away.
My fear warps my perception.
Too scared and exhausted to keep going
my legs give out...
I'm back where I began;
On my knees crying, begging...
praying to a god that I don't believe in.
I search for answers in the place where good things go to die;
In this final destination of sorrow I come to a conclusion,
There must be some reason for my pain.
A hurt so overwhelming that only physical and mental destruction can ease it
I couldn't have done this to myself...
Who would wanna feel such grief.
I crave that quick fix.
He questioned if I had a plan.
My mouth said no but my head said otherwise.
Though it wasn't a plan to bring me to the life's bittersweet end;
Rather one to keep me balanced enough long enough to sway either direction.
I'll never fall. I want to stay
Barley living, I'm waiting on myself.
When I'm ready to accept what is and what will be,
Then and only then will a tree line appear in the horizon,
freeing me from this barren desert.
This serves as a sign
that things aren't always as they seem
