Pain (A Virgil x Reader Love Story)

My Choice

"Because You Were To Good For This World And I Couldn't Make Myself Be The Thing That Decided That Your World Should Become A Little Darker... I Just Couldn't... How Could I Make Myself Decide That Your World Becomes A Little Bit Darker... I Couldn't... How Could I?... " I Said And As I Was Saying Those Words It Became Harder And Harder To Control Myself, To Keep Holding Myself Together. I.. I Can't Do It Any More. It Hurts, It Hurts So Much, I Can't. I Can't Let Thomas Feel All This Pain. If I Did He... It Wouldn't Turn Out Into Anything Good. I Am A Bad Side, If I Would Let Thomas Feel The Pain From The Start His Morality, His Creativity Would Become Weaker, A Lot Weaker. While Logic And Anxiety Would Stay The Same But Deceit Would Become Stronger, A Lot Stronger. I Can't Let That Happen. I Can't Be The Demise Of The Good Sides. I Don't Want To Be The Demise Of The Good Sides. I... I Don't Want To Be Evil, I Don't Want To Be A Bad Side. I Didn't Realise That The More I Thought That My Condition Became Worse And Worse. At First My Breathing Became Heavier, Then I Started Shaking, Not Long After I Slided To The Floor, Hands Tugging At My Hair. I Was Rocking Back And Forth The Only Thing I Whispered To Myself Was I Can't. I Didn't Realise Either That I Started Bleeding More And That More Bruises Appeared On My Body. The Other Sides And Thomas Of Course Noticed This And Were Concerned. Patton Was About To Come To Me To Comfort Me But Logan And Anxiety Knew That Wasn't A Good Idea. Logan Stopped Patton From Going To You And Shook His Head While Virgil Said "I Don't Think That's A Good Idea, Patton" Upon Seeing Patton's Confused Face Logan Explained "I Fear That If You Would Try To Comfort Her That Her Condition Would Become Worse", Anxiety Added "It Seems Like She's Having A Panic Attack Which Doesn't Make Much Sense Since She Is A Side". Thomas Added "But We Have To Help Her", "We Still Can" Said Virgil. He Looked At Logan And Nodded Knowing What Logan's Plan Was. Logan Came A Little Closer To You And Crouched Down, He Then Said Your Name "Achilla". You Who Were In Your Thoughts And Not Noticing What Was Happening To You Snapped Out Of It. Realising In What Kind Of Condition You Are As Well As Stopping Your Murmuring To Yourself And Your Rocking Back And Forth. Your Breathing Slowly Slowed Down And You Realised Your Grip On Your Hair, Though You Still Continued To Stay Seated On The Floor As Well As Your Shivering Continued. "Achilla, Do You Know Why This Happens To You? Because We Have Seen That This Isn't The First Time This Happened" Asks Logan Still Crouching Down While The Sides Came Closer And Sat Down. He Won't Ask You If Your Fine Because Everybody Can Clearly Tell Your Not Fine. "I Do, It's Mostly Because I Have To Keep Myself Together, I Can't Brake Because If I Do As You Know It Would Be Catastrophic. I Have To Keep Myself Together And Breaking Apart Is Not An Option" You Said To Them But The Last Sentence Was Kinda To Yourself. This Raised There Concerns Even More. "Looks Like Finding The Solution Is Even More Important, I Should Get Into It As Soon As Possible" Says Logan, You Looked At Him In Suprise. Why Would He Want To Do That? Doesn't He Want Thomas To Be Happy? The Last Question You Asked Out Loud. Everyone Looked At Each Other In Disbelief, Thomas Said "I Don't Want You To Feel Pain Either And That You Have Something Similair To Panic Attacks Because You Have To Keep Yourself Together. I Would Rather Feel The Pain Than Let Someone Suffer Because Of Me". It Became Harder To Control Yourself, To Not Let The Tears Fall. Everyone Was Quiet, Pondering What Happened. In The End I Said With A Sigh "It's Time For You To Decide My Fate. Will I Be A Good Side Or A Bad?
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What Will They Decide, I Wonder. I Hope You Enjoyed This Chapter.