Through Adversity To The Stars

Chapter 12 - I Would Of Called Myself A Liar Than Admit It All True

Becky Woods was nothing like any of Father's other clients. She was kind, considerate and she stuck by us even if acting wasn't right for her. She was a dream to our family, someone that made Father trust his clients and have hope for a man like Alexander.
Becky always returned, she always tried to make it back to us for special occasions or just time to get away. No matter how many times I pleaded to myself to try get away, just once, I always seemed to stop myself without a second thought. I was dismissing myself for the intention to make me believe that I did not in fact need it.

Soft, random breezes from the door down the hall hit me as I found it rather hard to sit outside and not think of him, soon realising it was just as hard to sit inside and not let my mind wonder. I was sure that I was incapable, that I was falling for the character, saying anything to discourage myself and what I felt. Please let not what I believe I am feeling be true. Please tell me that this time I have gotten it all wrong, I am the wrong one. Despite these empty words I said under my breath, nothing changed nor the sun in the sky, nor the passing of time without seeing him. I would of rather called myself a liar than admit it all true.
"Oh Elizabeth," Mother stood behind my chair, peering at herself in the mirror as she gently circled her cheek with her finger, "you have remembered who is visiting?"

I sighed as if that was a way for all my thoughts to be drained out of me, "of course, Mother." My head rested at the top of the chair, rolling to watch her in the small mirror. I admired her. She was the perfect role model, everything that they wanted me to be, however somehow, it felt impossible to act as her.

Mother's eyes caught mine in the mirror, pausing for a moment, "she'll be here any moment. We haven't seen her in nearly a year." She seemed surprised by what she had said last, as if it wasn't hers or Father's fault that Becky hadn't visited. However, I had not seen a reason either for Becky to be as distant as she was. "Mon cheri, est ce que tu vas bien?" She stroked my hair as she turned away from the mirror to look at me and search in my eyes for what was wrong. I had an idea of what was wrong but again, I didn't want to admit it.

The birds sang outside as I fumbled around in my mind, finding an answer that would make Mother not ask any questions. I wouldn't of known how to answer, every little feeling I had for him was a blur by a smudge I was incapable to rub off. "Oui, bien sûr," I manage without leaving anytime for her to wonder, although she seemed to.

"Becky!" I heard Father down the hall making Mother's attention shift to his voice. She wandered off down the hall. Before I could stand to greet Becky as Mother and Father had, I heard a faint "where is she?", a second later to be presented the Rebecca Woods. The woman with a free spirit. The woman I wished to have the same spirit of. It was if her eyes glowed with surprise, that she expected something more. The thing was, I didn't believe I had anything else to offer. You got what you saw with me, but that's what I thought. Too scared to find one's self. Too scared to learn that I was something more than what I had initially thought. Believe me, I wanted to think I was more, only to believe I was nothing more than an obligation in the past,
Her perfect smile lit up more than the brief selection of engagement photos Mother had shown me a couple months back. Becky rushed towards me, arms opened wide, ready to embrace me. As she hugged me, she dragged me to my feet so I faced her. Her hair smelt like the sea, allowing me to presume she had been before arriving even though it was tradition for us to race to the beach and float in the salt water, know I gotta full well that it's later make us itch. Becky made me feel like I had something about me worth discovering, something worth the time I would put into myself. "Oh my goodness! You haven't changed a bit, Baby," I guessed that meant I hadn't gotten pretty like ever girl I knew seemed to. 'Baby' was my nickname from her. She explained it was because Dirty Dancing was her adored film but I knew it was because for some reason, I looked the exact same from when I was an infant. I never exactly loved the name but of course I couldn't bare to fall out with someone I care so dearly for, "I've missed you so much!"

That is when my eyes matched my smile. It was almost comforting to hear someone say they miss you and mean it. "I've missed you too," I replied without thinking but it let her eyes smile even brighter than before.

"So," she began, taking a seat where I had just sat. It seemed to be a way of telling everybody to sit also. Mother and Father sat themselves on one of the sofas, the one with a mural blanket covering half as I perched on the side of then Becky's seats "Alexander Saunders, huh?" She spoke to Father, moving slightly in her place.

With a proud look upon his face, he answered, "yes, our biggest client yet."

"I've seen the big response to him everywhere. They don't seem too happy about Jeane Berkeley though. Some had different opinions, however," she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Just jealous teenagers, nothing to worry about," Fatter brought his hand to his face, washing the negativity that Becky had just thrown at him, "but it is good for publicity."

I could feel myself sit up straighter and I almost hated myself for doing so, "Jeane Berkeley?" Jeane played along side Alexander in 'Dear Andrew Hayes' and then in Emma. The pair seemed good together, they matched. At the time, every girl you met wanted to either be her or be with her.

"They are together, dating," Becky said with such ease which I admired, only for my shoulders to tense. I hoped it didn't show, that only Becky noticed and not Mother and Father.

Before the conversation moved on, all I could possibly utter was "oh."