Through Adversity To The Stars

Chapter 15 - The Strawberries Turned His Lips Red

At the time, it felt like nothing better to be answering my door to find Alexander. The smile, the hair, the sunburn on his cheekbones. I wanted to hug him but I resented. I wanted to kiss him but I didn't, I couldn't.
Every time I opened my door he had a new pose, a new position I would find him in. But this time, he leant on the door frame with his elbow, hand comforting his face. The different smile I had come to adore was sitting there as usual. "Town?" the weather had been atrocious but I could tell neither him nor I cared in the slightest.

"Town," I agreed easily. I didn't want to give too much away, but my smile was finding it hard to hide itself from his view.
Throwing a book too boring to refuse Alexander's request onto my bed, I tried to escape my room as Alexander only stepped back slightly. Again we were close, close enough to kiss, to wish he had done so, to wish I had done so. Finally he stepped back, letting my breathing ease, not sucking all the air in to seem as perfect as Jeane. Never was I able to meet the standards of Jeane Berkeley. Every man seemed to admire her for her beauty. All I could ever think was how I would never have that. Did I want that? Did I want to be adored by masses amounts of men just for the way I looked? No, but sometimes.

Somehow the strawberries turned his lips red, the way he ate them without wanting to spill the juice as we walked beside each other. Up till that point, we had hardly spoken a couple of words. Only me advising Alexander that if he turned right he would end up in a field, not town.
He felt my eyes on him, I could tell but this time I didn't look away. I just let a smile seep onto my face, enjoying the way he struggled, trying to catch the juice with his spare hand. Alexander finished his strawberry and held out the green stalk and leaves out in question of what to do with it. "Eat it," I told him.

"Eat it?"

"Yes, eat it," I confirmed but he looked it shock at what I had proposed. His eyebrows furrowed at me as I began to worry if that wasn't normal. I tried not to care, taking the stalk, leaves and the end of the strawberry and putting it in my mouth. I savoured it just knowing that he had once had his lips around the very same spot.

Alexander stared at me bizarrely before smiling again a little, soothing my worries. "Mind helping me out with the juice as well?" Before I could question, he grabbed the clothing I was wearing, wiping his hands on it. I gasped in horror, immediately my mind circling to what Mother would think. She definitely would not of stood for that. This time I didn't mind because his hands were closer to me than before. I liked it.

"Do you know what my Mother will think?" I said anyway, giving me a chance to step back and show him the pink he had left on my white outfit.

He shrugged, smirking still, "that you had fun for once in your life?" Alexander carried on walking, shaking his head as he laughed. I, on the other hand, had stopped. I had paused in my tracks due to his previous lines. Had I come across as a girl with no adventure in her life? Had I come across as a girl who would decline an adventure at hand?
He whipped his head round to face me, realising that my mind was racing with thoughts and doubts about myself. Anybody could tell I felt as so with my head cocked back. "Oh Lizzie, I didn't mean it like that. Just that maybe I can help with your bad habit of hardly socialising," it sounded as if he was offering to take care of me, take me out into the world to meet people.

I defended myself, "what makes you say I don't socialise. I have Remy." A few drops of rain splattered on my bare arms.

He sauntered over towards me, "your lips seem to swell after not opening your mouth for a while." The attention to detail, to my lips especially made me wish that there weren't as much people around, busying about things far less important than Alexander. "And Remy, he's a family friend."

"You're a family friend," I argued, the corner of my lips turning upwards slightly. However, he was not as close to see.
Alexander sucked the air up through his teeth not having an answer to reply with. He turned back around in the direction down the alley of coffee and flower shops. I kept up with him, wanting to know more, wanting to let our hands brush and pull them away as if it meant more than a touch. Foolish, again.

The sky had turned a shade of grey, the sun hardly shining through but when it did, it hit the golden flecks in his hair. If he were a painting, I would of hung it up years ago. That wasn't a revelation. Anybody would jump at the chance for a professional painting of him. Then was special. I adored those sun kissed cheeks.
"So," I gulped, "Jeane Berkeley?"

His eyes followed up slightly, letting me know that he didn't expect me to know about her. Honestly I maybe had never found out about them if it weren't for Becky. I knew Mother nor Father would talk about Alexander's love life with me. As far as they were concerned, Alexander and I hardly knew one another. Partly true, I guessed.
"You know about her?" Alexander stuffed his hands in his pockets as if his hands had something to hide.

I nodded only to realise that he couldn't tell I was, "yes." After moments of silence once again I asked, "well, what's she like?"

He cleared his throat, "annoying sometimes but she's kind and the press like her. Mum seems to think it's the best route." I scoffed at his response, "what?"

"Nothing," I answered knowing full well what I would of said if I was brave enough.

"You clearly scoffed," he stopped.

"Clearly scoffed?"

"Clearly scoffed," he confirmed. "I know that you shouldn't have relationships as such but it all sorta happened." Alexander carried on beside me, more raindrops reaching us. What he had said made me want to. Stop, I mean. The words circled around me, judging me almost that he could have a fake relationship and I couldn't. Of course he could, he was Alexander Saunders.
I felt him nudge me with his elbow, "you're too quiet. You're either thinking of a way to get out of this or silently judging me."

"Or silently judging myself," I muttered underneath my breath. He hadn't realised and still waited for an answer, "I'm not, neither of them, actually."

As we continued, more and people seemed to disappear into houses or shops. "So who are you?" The most bizarre question I had heard had come out of his mouth. Not ever had someone who had known me start to ask who I was.

"Elizabeth Sutton," I answered.

He shook his head, stopping which made me stop also. We faced each other, a foot apart but it didn't make me want to kiss him any less. "No, firstly that's wrong. You, my friend, are Lizzie Saunders. Secondly, I didn't mean your name. Like, who are you? What are your goals, hopes, dreams and thoughts?"

I couldn't tell him, even if I wanted to. I knew I couldn't go through with the truth. The Summer of 2003 seemed to be a ball of white lies in my eyes. "Uh," I was at a loss for a lie. Any lie at all would of been far better than the truth, that all I knew was that I liked him, more than Mother and Father. I began again, "I want to be somebody important to somebody else. I want to have more confidence than normal to be able to tell someone what I feel for them. I want people to view me more than Lizzie Sutton but I wouldn't myself." I don't, I thought. I had shocked myself. None of what I had come out with was either lie or the whole truth.

A smile tugged at Alexander's lips, "we have more in common than expected, Lizzie Sutton." In that moment I thought he would, that there would be a chance than he would step and kiss me. No, not after his mother warning him not to be seen with me or by himself.

The drops from the sky became more frequent than I had expected. This time I was not going to hesitate of what I thought first, "race you to the tennis court!"