Scattered [A Mallory Winston Spin-Off]

[Chapter 9]

I blink my eyes open from a peacefully dreamless sleep, still wrapped tightly in Mike's arms. A wave of sadness shoots through me when it hits me that Billie will never hold me like this again.

Though I try my best to hide it, I still hear a distressed sob coming from me, and tears start to roll down my face again as words from the dream roll through my head again.

"Don't cry love..."

I sniffle, breathing hiccuping as I see Billie's face flash behind my closed eyelids.

"You're gonna be okay, I promise..."

"How can I be okay without you...?" I say in a whisper, tears continuing to stream from my eyes. I feel Mike stir, but he doesn't wake up.

"It's gonna be okay..."

The words continue to course through my brain, sobs increasing as I start to shake all over.

"I need you, Billie..." I whimper quietly, and bury my face into Mike's chest, sobbing harder.

"Just...don't forget me, baby...don't forget how much I love you...

"I love you so, so, much..."

The words continue to strike me like a knife, hurting so much more than the first time I heard them, because now...

Now that I'm awake...

Even though it was only a dream...

It still sounds like him; like things he would say...

It felt real...

Like he was really saying goodbye...

"It felt real..." I mutter to no one through my tears, still trembling as more words float through my subconscious mind.

"Try not to miss me too much, okay angel? Everything will be okay in the end..."

I sob harder, clinging to Mike even though every fiber of my being wants it to be Billie instead.

"I love you so much, angel..."

The words are a barely audible whisper, but physically there nonetheless. I shoot upright out of Mike's arms, frantically scanning the room, wracking with sobs.

"Billie?!?" I call out in a loud whimper, but there's nothing. I hear Mike groan and roll over, but I don't care anymore.

I heard him!

"Billie, please, come back!" I say in a frantic plea, but there's no response, just frustrating white noise filling my head as my ears start to ring loudly.

"Please, Billie, I need you!" I sob, looking at my visibly shaking hands. I ball them up into fists as I cry so hard that I start gagging, choking on my own tears.

But there's still infuriating silence, and I hear pained noise come out of my throat, and I root my shaking hands into my hair, continuing to cry forceful, ugly sobs.

"Please! Come back!" I cry out loudly, suddenly feeling weak all over as my hands drop into my laps, limbs shaking violently.

"Mallory, what's-" Mike starts to ask in a gravelly, sleepy voice, but I cut him off with my yelling.

"I heard him, Mike! I heard him!" I shout loudly, continuing to shake and shudder uncontrollably, ringing blaring in my ears. Mike quickly pulls me to rest against his chest, wrapping his arms around me tightly as I continue to rack with sobs.

"I heard him, I heard him, I heard him..." I ramble over and over again through tears, feeling myself begin to unconsciously rock back and forth, head in my shaking hands.