Scattered [A Mallory Winston Spin-Off]

[Chapter 8]

"B-BILLIE!"

I can't stop gagging, the blood on my hands mirroring my tainted thoughts.

"NO!"

The thoughts that I killed my Billie. That I'm the reason he's dead. The reason he's gone.

"B-B-BILLIE!"

I killed him. I killed Billie.

"NO!"

I killed Billie.

"DAD!!"

I killed my own Dad.

"D-DADDY!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"MALLORY!" A loud voice jolts me awake, and I feel myself trembling all over, cold sweat pouring out of me as I sob.

"Mallory, babe, calm down, it's okay..." The voice says, pulling me into a hug, but I push away, not wanting anyone.

Anyone except Billie...

"B-Billie..." I sob, my whole body shaking with the impact, and I hear someone else sob as well.

"M, please calm down, you're gonna make yourself sick!" The voice - Mike's voice - says urgently, but I can't stop crying. The events of the day and events of my dream keep flying through my mind, making me cry harder than I ever thought was possible.

Only a dream...?!?

But it felt so real...

And he was there...

My Billie was there...

I saw him...

I hugged him...

Another loud sob escapes me as realization slaps me in the face.

He was saying goodbye...

I feel Mike's hand rubbing my back, trying to calm me down, but I flinch away.

"N-no, I don't w-want you, I want Billie!" I sob, a wave of nausea suddenly coursing through my stomach. Despite my dizzy state, I stand up and run to the bathroom, sobbing again before throwing up the little I'd eaten into the toilet.

I feel my hair moved away from my face as I continue to vomit, shaking all over as the disturbing images from today float through my mind. I gag loudly, before retching a final time, then sink back against the cool bathroom tiles, sobbing as I continue to tremble, feeling weak and defeated and lost beyond belief.

"M..." I feel Mike scoop me up in his arms, carrying me back to the room. I'm suddenly hit with an immense need for comfort, and just as Mike sits me down on the bed I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck, feeling myself shaking with sobs. His arms wrap around me tightly, and I feel him sobbing as well.

Neither of us say anything, just hug each other tightly crying our eyes out and clinging to each other.

"M..." He says quietly and I bury my face into his shoulder, feeling a huge wave of doubt.

Why does he care so much...?

"Why do you care so much?" I echo softly, sniffling as I continue to sob.

"Why wouldn't I care?" He asks, still holding me tightly. Guilt surges through me, and I shove away from him suddenly.

"Because I'm just some random kid-hell, technically I'm not even a kid anymore! And more importantly, I killed your best friend! I killed Billie, and you're here taking care of me when I should've been left for dead!" I sob the last bit, seeing his eyes flash with some unknown emotion, and he pulls me to sit on his lap, resting his arms around me. I whimper and try to break free.