Crossover

Chapter 9: Break down

The rain began to pelt down. I’d forgotten how the clouds collected around the mountain suddenly, enveloping them in a thick layer of fog and drizzle.

The road was deteriorating before our very eyes, mud coating our shoes and ankles. Still with both arms cuffed together, it was hard to catch ourselves if we tripped over a pothole. The fog was becoming so thick that it was dangerous to walk in the road anymore, because we couldn’t see ten feet in front of us, let alone see if a carriage was coming down the road towards us.

"I need to stop." I panted, as we began rounding another corner. The incline was making it hard to keep my breath, and a lack of sleep wasn’t helping me much. I could only imagine how hard it was for Zedron, for he hadn’t slept at all.

The rain had drenched his white shirt, showing me truly how skinny he was. I actually felt bad for him, growing up all on his own.

We ambled over to a small grassy area, behind a large rock. Hidden places were best right now, for both the wounds and handcuffs would draw attention we didn't need.

We both collapsed onto the grass exhausted. The large trees that climbed the mountain kept the rain from falling on us now, but we were already soaked.

"How much farther?" I asked Zedron, once I got my breath back.

"I don't know," he replied.

I was tired and cranky. Anger spilled over from a container I didn't know I even held anymore.  "How do you not know?" I snapped at him. "I didn't save you just to have you neto out on me when I needed you most!"

As soon as I said it I wanted to take it back. But it was too late. Impulse strikes again.

I was expecting him to get mad, to burst with anger or to yell. But he just sighed. "He's not coming back is he?" He said.

"Who?" I asked.

"Alia's father," he said.

It was as if he punched me right in the gut. I went into overload, curled in a ball, and just cried. Zedron had broken me down. I'd known him for two days, and he was able to find exactly what hurt me the most.

The things I'd been trying to hide, to keep contained, he'd let out of their boxes and thrown them into the air for all to see.

And he was so right.

He just let me cry for a while. What else was he supposed to do? He walked around a little, but I didn't pay much attention to him. I was too lost in myself, too hurt to handle the world right now.

Finally he scooped me up, and carried me towards a fire he had made.

He looked so skinny, but yet I felt tiny in comparison, like a little child.

I couldn't stop. Once I let everything out it wouldn't go back in. It was all my fault, I was a bad mother, a horrible human being, and on top of all that I was crying about it.

Zedron just held me, sitting there in front of the fire for a while. Never in my life had I felt so weak and exposed. There wasn't much more of these left to find; I had very few weak spots, but they were real kill shots.

He dabbed the tears away with his sleeve almost as soon as my eyes squeezed them out.

I couldn't believe this guy. I'd almost left him for dead this morning, and yet he still stuck by me.  I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve anything at all.

But Alia. Alia deserved better. I couldn't hide here any longer. She needed me, and so I had to be strong for her.

I unfurled a little, finally finding a way to close the boxes with most of the scary stuff back inside.I felt a little hollow now, though.  Everything to nothing, I guess.

When I came out into the world again, it had stopped raining. The temperature had dropped significantly, and I felt cold.

"How do you do that?" Zedron asked me.

"Do what?" I replied. I was embarrassed enough about crying without him talking about it.

"Calm down like that?" He said. "You were crying, totally out of it."

I let out a sigh of annoyance, but he ignored it.

"I could feel your heart rate slow, your breathing stabilize." He shook his head in disbelief. "It's amazing."

I shrugged. He didn’t need to know why yet, at least not right now. I detangled myself from him, being careful with his hurt arm. He really was trying to hit all of my weak spots in one day. I lay down beside the fire, as close as to the warmth as I dared. One night of sleep was all I needed. Then I'd go and get Alia. Whatever it took.

Zedron piped up. "If you ever need to talk about stuff like this, I'll listen," he offered. "I do owe you and all."

I nodded. “I’m sorry.” I said, quietly. “I haven’t let myself deal with it yet. My life has been one disaster after the other, and I don’t let myself feel it.”

“I understand,” he said.

We were quiet for a moment.

“He’s not dead.” I told Zedron. “And it’s not him that’s ever coming back.”

“You still love him, don’t you?” He asked, more like a statement than a question.

I sobbed. “Yes. I didn’t want to leave. But I had to.”

“I know what that’s like.” He said, surprising me. “Leaving is sometimes the best thing, even if you don’t want to.”

“Yes.” I agreed. I had to leave, for Alia. It just wasn't the place for a child.

“What’s his name?” Zedron asked.

I hesitated. I didn’t trust myself to even think it without falling apart. “That’s enough for tonight.” I muttered.

“So you will tell me? Eventually?” He asked, hopeful.

"Let's just get Alia back first." I said, ending the conversation.  He lay down beside me, and rolled over so he was facing the other way, watching the road.

It wasn't until I was almost asleep that found I'd included him in my plans without even realizing it.