MIA'S LOT [Wattys 2019]

Chapter 11

I literally licked my fingers after eating. The dinner was delicious. I knew him to be a man of his words but being a five-star chef wasn't what I expected tonight. The way he chopped each ingredient, oh! and that sauce. This is what is called finger-licking, sauce dropping.

He didn't allow me to join him. He said he was buying my forgiveness and he wanted to buy it fully, no shortcuts. So I sat in my kitchen's island and watched him perform his magic.

While tasting his sauce, a little of it smeared on my cheeks. We all know how that story ends. He pulled me closer and licked it. Ewww! Definitely a good kind of that though, I mean it's Ralph we are talking about, sexy handsome most wanted Ralph.

After he fed me to the brim, that point where you can't even carry yourself again, we retired on my couch. I was cuddled up with him. He was going through the news and I was scrolling through social media for juicy gossips. Then I heard him lamenting. So, I asked,

"What's wrong?"

"It's really crazy how some men feel it's okay to rape anything that wears a skirt. Seriously! There are many women out there offering free sex. Why linger on the one who doesn't want to offer. Can't they have self-control?

If I were a judge, I would ensure they do not see daylight after they are proven guilty. You even see some molesting kids, underaged females. Those kind of people are a menace to society and should be eradicated.

I can't begin to imagine what those children pass through. They are permanently scarred for life. Then you see some turn to prostitutes, selling their bodies cheaply. This is just annoying " he kept ranting on and on.

He was really mad, I could tell. Flashes from when I was abused started coming into my mind. I don't want this happening again. It took me a long time to forget. As much as I've forgiven those who had hurt me, it didn't really erase the trauma.

Ralph's question brought my mind back to the present.

"Babe, were you listening to me at all?

"Of course, I was " I responded quickly.

"Those kids just turn out bad in the end, their mindset affected " he continued.

I didn't know when I blurted out a comment in response to his statement.
"Not all of us turn out as bad as you think. "

"Yeah, well not all..... wait, what? " he asked shocked. I guess what I said just sunk in. He turned me to face him and lifted my head with his index fingers.

"What did you just say? " he asked again. Why is he acting drama? It wasn't really necessary. It was a long time ago, though it seemed just like yesterday.

"Nothing ok. It's nothing. You don't need to get so worked up because of it" I said, and that was when all hell broke loose.

"What do you mean by it's nothing. Didn't you just admit to being abused as a child right now? "

"Did I? "

"Amelia, do not play childish games with me. You and I both know and can remember clearly what you just said. Why would you even consider it nothing?

I'm here for you babe and not just for the good but for the bad also. "

He pulled me closer and caressed my skin.
"I'm really trying to remain calm now Amy. Who was the psychopath that did that to you? I hope I never get to see him else I would strangle the life out of him. "

"There's no need for that, it's in the past. Besides how many of them would you kill to prove your point? "

"How many? " he asked

"yeah..."

"Okay, wow! Babe, what happened to you? Please let me in. Don't shut me out now. You do need help "

"Thank you very kindly, but I have been taking care of myself and I haven't derailed from my course in life. They are in the past and I believe that is where they should be. In the past! " I snapped.

"Baby, I'm not saying you have been doing a bad job. All I'm saying is that you need to open up to someone. Have you ever told anyone what happened to you then? "

I shook my head in response to his question.

"And you say this hasn't had a bad effect on you, you barely let anyone close to you. Don't you think your trust issues stem up from somewhere? "

All the while I kept mum. Well, I didn't know what else to say, so I guess silence pays.

"You hate sex. You say that word with so much disgust and you claim it's in the past? Obviously not! " he yelled.

Guess what I said next, I couldn't have been any shallower.

"All this because you want to have sex with me that I don't want? "

"Wow! Just wow! That's all you could extract from all my noise since? Just wow! I need to go. I will see you later Amelia. Take care "

And he left! He freaking left. I've never felt so lonely before. Yes, I didn't let people in because I was scared of being used. Even my relationship with Joe has its limit. I don't want to stay alone tonight, I can't sleep alone....the nightmares...no!

I grabbed my keys and my purse and ran out.