The Girl Code

The Menstration Monster

Hey, dolls! I know I haven’t updated my genius in a while, but this chapter will be very useful and will make up for it. Today, we’re going there. We’re talking about what curse Mother Nature has brought upon women, that little gift that ruins you for a week every month. By now, you know I’m talking about three scary letters. P.M.S. Yes, this chapter is about periods. Personal, but necessary. 

Okay, most of you know how annoying, confidence crushing and overall horrible our gifts can be. But, I have some tips that could make it less painful, less stressful, lighter and maybe alittle shorter. Let's get started, Goblins. Stay beautiful and enjoy!

1) WHAT AND HOW YOU EAT. Filling up on soft, light foods little by little throughout the day instead of having three or four huge meals can lessen bloating, depending on how bad they are. Number one period cramp crusher is the bananna. Others are yogurts and really any dairy and protien. Eating spicy food and grain will prolonge and worsen your period blues. 

2) PAMPER YOURSELF! Bubbles or no bubbles, taking a warm bath can help back pain and cramps during your period and is proven to give you a lighter cycle.(But, c'mon, bubble baths are underatted and when's the last time you made a Santa beard from soap?)  Some people's periods even become shorter, but there's no garuntee. Streching, not only during your period but constantly, is another period- fighting factor. Women who do yoga or strecth daily tend to have lighter periods then thoose who don't, thus automatically eliminating heavy cramps and sometimes bloating.

3) WARN OTHERS. I'm not saying you should walk around with a sign saying "I'm bleeding beacause I'm a woman, so watch yourself", but people who you see alot everyday should know your cycle. Such as close family, best friends and spouses. It won't make them distant, but it will make them slightly more aware of what they say at the right times, not all the time. For example, if you think you look fat your period and your boyfriend/girlfriend squeezes your but as a joke, you might get mad because your hormones tell you that they think you're fat, too. But guess what? THEY DON'T. They just aren't aware how you would react, whether you show it or not. Now, if they knew you feel like Fat Albert when it's that time of the month, they wouldn't have given your bum a squeeze, otherwise that would be rude. Bottom line, if people know how your going to react to ceartin things that you normally wouldn't gte mad at and when you're going to react differently, a hormonal lecture will never be necessary. 

4) GRANNY PANTIES ADDRESSED. They won't always be needed when the tulip bleeds. A good idea is to double up on hipsters, or just keep an extra pair of hipsters or boyshorts in your bag or locker in case of emergency. OH! That reminds me: ALWAYS have back up pants in your locker. Not a friend's locker, YOUR OWN LOCKER. What if one day that friend is absent or you forget their combo? Another to never do as far as bottoms go when you get that gift is wearing thongs. If you really want to go their, go a size up from your actual size so they fit perfectly, if you wear pads atleast. If you wear tampons, you got it all. 

5) SLEEP RULES. Women who sleep on their stomach oppose to their back tend to have less painful periods. This hasto do with the speed of your flow. The faster the flow, the more the bloat. (Don't you notice your period is heavier when YOU feel heavier?) If you tend to sleep on your back, try to make a habit of sleep on your side or stomach atleast during your period because it really helps. How much you sleep is also a big factor in this crazy world of ovulation. Most of us want to get a few more hours of shut eye when the Menstration Monster comes to get us, so we take nappy poos. (I know I do.) But, the more we nap throughout the day, the more fatigue we get. Our body tends to get used to all the rest that it gets, which can cause it to not work as well as when it needs to and that causes your brain to to work when you need it, WHICH IS ALL THE TIME! Naps are great, but don't go too far with it. Don't spend the entire day in bed, unless it's a vacation and theres absoloutly nothing to do, then go ahead, roll around in your bed all day. 

Well, girls, I hope this really helped you. I try most of theese things when I'm on my period and it really helps me het through it. Hopefully, it'll work for you, too! Stay beautiful!