how to flirt (100% ACCURATE!🥰)

preparation for the (c/b)oochie

if you clicked on this story in hopes of obtaining some scrumptious coochie, you came to the right place. i am the coochie MASTER , probably bc i have one, not bc i'm attracted to it (but if you are, i got the fax for you too so don't you worry now!!! 👨‍❤️‍👨😇💘).

okay, enough of this dummy intro. let's get right to the story🤗😇

FIRST STEP: Clean yourself

unless you are trying to attract an ogre, pls pls practice good hygiene! you kings and queens deserve someone worthy of your amazing self, but no one will like you if you're smelly:(

now you may be wondering, "how do i clean myself??!?? wtf is hygiene????"

my answer to this is: take a nice hot shower and observe that bar of soap sitting on the rack. you will want to pick it up, CAREFULLY, and pls take caution in not dropping it 😳 if u know, u know.

next, observe that bar of deodorant that your mom always tells you to wear. this will be your best friend!!! use it!!!!

other important hygiene acts include (but are not limited to): brushing your teeth, brushing your hair(unless ur bald😝),  using breath mints, and not wearing that greasy shirt 3 days in a row (i'm talking to you, robert🙄🤧).

also maybe get a haircut, it will make you feel fresh💆‍♀️

Second step: how to dress swag

dressing swag isn't limited to just one type of fashion!!! it can be whatever you want it to be. let me explain.

to dress 'swag', you must find within yourself your true style and what makes you happiest. the clothing that fits you best and you feel most confident in, is considered swag 😎😝

disclaimer: if your swag look includes sweaty, greasy clothing, you may not attract the coochie, but at least you still got swag;)

swag is a mindset. if you feel swag, you are swag. and the ladies and men love swag. trust me😌💅 confidence is v attractive!!!!

Third Step: loving yourself👨‍❤️‍👨
if you don't love yourself, how will the coochie love you??? :-(

learn to accept and love all your flaws, because they make up who YOU are!! and you are amazing 😻

ways to love yourself:

-don't listen to that rude af voice in your head😡 he is a dumb bully

-go shopping to distract yourself from the void inside (this solution is temporary and may be addictive,,, not recommended😯)

-sell your body online😝 (also temporary, probs not recommended but is a good way to get money🤑)

-write a list of all the positive things about yourself and try to focus on those good things instead of constantly criticizing yourself!!!

remember, you are special bb. so luv yourself and get some good cooch🥰 i believe in you!!!!

lmk what u all thought of this story! i'd love to hear your feedback and comments :-)