Killjoy

I'm Going to Run

Carter has been avoiding Luis for the whole week. Luis, to say the least, is quite annoyed by that. Like, come on! He's trying to apologize and explain shit, but Carter keeps avoiding him or literally running away. So, quite annoyed might be an understatement. And even though it was Friday afternoon, Luis was fuming.

As the last bell of the school day rang, Luis slammed his hands onto Carter's desk. The boy looked up at him, clearly frightened. "Come with me."

Carter stood up, slinging on his bag, slowly following Luis. He was pretty sure he was going to get beat up. So, when they reached the first floor, Carter booked it. Luis started chasing after him, yelling out his name, but Carter didn't stop. He didn't stop until he was inside his room, back against the door. Fe looked up at him, tilting her head to the side, confused.

"Don't worry," he smiled, dropping his bag next to his desk. "I'm okay." He pet her head, falling down onto the bed beside her. Thoughts about this last week ran through his mind. He simultaneously came out as gay, lost a friend, and gained a bully. That was a lot to take in. His first friend in years doesn't like the fact that he was gay... He was going to get beat up for liking guys.

Carter wished his dad would let him drop out of school already. Clearly Carter wasn't meant for the social aspect of learning. Or society in general. He was just a weird, gross, gay, half. Nobody likes him. It's about time he faced that reality. Maybe he was supposed to live as an outcast his whole life, or not even be born. Carter wrapped himself around Fe, stuffing his face into her fur, trying to push out these sorts of thoughts.

Carter was finally at his breaking point. He has lived seventeen years of pure hell. Having friends, then losing them. Being alone. Gaining friends, good friends. Then losing them to being bullies. What was the point of living if all that was going to happen was him getting hurt?

Carter didn't bother wiping away the tears on his face as he made his way to the garage. He sifted through tools and boxes before he found what he was looking for. With the rope in hand, he made his way back upstairs. It was easy enough to figure out how to tie a noose. All he had to do was look up a video and follow it. It was pretty easy to put up as well, seeing as how he still had a beam in his ceiling still exposed from his father fixing the insulation.

Once the rope was secured he slipped the rope around his neck, phone in hand. He dialed and said only one thing when the dispatcher answered: "Please don't let my father find me." And with that he dropped the phone and stepped off the bed. His feet swung about in the air as he struggled to breathe. His body gasped and choked as it fought for air. His hearing slowly disappeared. And soon, he passed out.

xxxx

Carter awoke in a hospital bed. He looked around the bland hospital room, noticing his father sitting in a chair, asleep. Carter's confusion rose as he counted the number of chairs in the room. Usually there are two to four, but there were seven chairs total. And, as if to ease his confusion, Kia and his gang walked in with a butt load of food.

"Oh, thank God!" Kia exclaimed, putting down his load of food. "We were worried sick! Hey, Mr. Morales, wake up." Kia gently shook his dad's shoulder, waking him. As soon as his father laid his eyes on Carter, he launched from his chair, giving him the tightest hug he could.

"Mijo..!" His voice was filled with pain and he clung onto Carter. Carter could feel tears on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around his dad.

"Lo siento." Carter cried, pressing his face into his father's shoulder. While both men sat there crying and holding onto each other, Kia and his gang set up food and went to tell the nurses that Carter was awake. A nurse came in, checking Carter's vitals, telling him a doctor will be in in a hour or so.

They all chowed down on food, talking. No one really bringing up Carter's attempt. Carter finally thought to ask for everyone's name, trying his best to remember them.

Jones and Jonas were twins, identical twins. They had messy black hair, Jones always styling his to the left while Jonas styles his to the right. Kyle, or Kye, was a zombie and missing his right hand, and his brother Kenny. He wanted to thank each and every one of them individually, for not only taking their time, but also genuinely caring about him. Even though it was a simple feat too them, it was so damn meaningful to Carter. Nothing could really convey his appreciation, especially after trying to kill himself.

There was a soft knock on the door, Carter simply assumed it was the nurse or doctor. But when the door opened Carter instantly wanted to die... Again. Luis Brown stood in the doorway with a bouquet of dark red carnations, Carter's favorite flower. They made eye contact, both uncomfortable and awkward.

Kia cleared his throat. "I know you two are on the wrong foot right now, so," everyone hurried out of the room, Kia the last one out. "We'll leave ya to fix it!" And with that the door shut and they were alone. Luis stood there, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"You want to sit?"

"Uh, sure." Luis muttered, sitting at the end of the bed. "I, uh, got you these." He held up the bouquet, like it wasn't obvious what he was talking about.

"No, I thought those were for the love of your life!" Carter announced sarcastically, dramatically throwing his hand in the air.

"They are." Carter's eyes widened as he stared open-mouthed at Luis. "You see, I didn't mean to hurt you... I'm..." He trailed off. Taking a deep breath he continued. "I'm gay. But,my whole life I was taught that being anything but straight and cis was wrong. Bad even. So, I pushed it down. When Kia made a joke about us dating and me realizing I had feelings for you, I panicked. I ended up hurting you. I'm sorry for that. But Kia and our class made me realize that being gay or anything else wasn't bad. That there is nothing for me to be ashamed of. I'm so fucking sorry that I hurt you. I fucked up so bad, however, I was wondering if you could forgive me?"

"No." Luis's eyes widened, tears forming.

"That... That's okay. Thank you for-" He was interrupted by Carter's laughter. His whole body was shaking as he laughed, leaning forward in his bed. Luis looked at him like he had three heads.

"Of course I forgive you, you dumbass!" He held open his arms with a bright smile. "Come here!" Luis launched himself into Carter's arms, careful of all his machine attachments. They held onto each other, desperate. Carter gently pushed him back. Luis let out a small whine, not ready to let go. But he was pleasantly surprised when Carter leaned in to kiss him. Luis let his eyes close, wrapping his arms around Carter. Luis sure as Hell didn't expect to be kissing Carter, however he was sure as Hell not mad about it.

The boys broke apart, resting their foreheads together. They couldn't help the smiles on their faces, happy that this was happening. Luis pulled back, looking into Carter's eyes. "Does this mean we're dating now?" Luis bit his lip, chewing on it, and nervous to hear the answer.

"I would hope so," Carter smiled, giving Luis another kiss. "I mean I don't just go around kissing random guys." Luis's cheeks flushed. He cleared his throat, looking away as he got off of Carter, sitting on the chair beside the bed. Just in time to because Kia and the gang walked back in. Though, they both were pretty sure they were keeping an eye on things. Carter reached over, taking Luis's hand in his own.

"So, now that you two are together," Kia grinned mischievously, "who's the girl in the relationship." Carter pulled the pillow out from behind himself, chucking it at him. Kia dodged it, laughing loudly.

"I hate you!" Luis yelled at Kia, his face as red as a tomato, as he curled up into himself. Carter squeezed his hand three times, smiling softly. I love you.