Secret Herron/ Jonah Marais/

life changes

*time skip to the end of tour*

so we just got back to la after being on tour. while on tour the amount of hate i got just tripled. now in the past i would just focus on the negativity and i would go back to cutting. although now i just focus on the positive because i know i have people around me to back me up. Like i have Jonah, the boys, the girls, and i also have mine and jonah's little nugget to be there for me. oh also i'm 8ish months pregnant but me and jo have decided that we want to wait till the baby is born to find out the gender.

so right when we got back to la we moved in to the new house and by we i mean, jack, gabbie, zach, kay, daniel, tate, corbyn, christina, jo, and me. the house has 6 stories. so each couple has their own story and there is one story with all of the extra rooms that we added.

now that your updated on everything that's happened i'll tell you what me and the girls are doing today. we are going dress shopping. now why would we be going dress shopping you may ask. well my best friend tom holland invited us to the premiere of his movie spider-man homecoming {this is taken place back in 2017} and of course we said yes.

we left the house and went to go get the dresses because the premier is in two days.

jonah's pov:

the girls texted us and told us where the were going. the boys and i were working on som new music to release here in the next few months. after we go done wiring on a song i went up to mine and maggie's room to get the design for the nursery. although when looking for the design i found an envelope and that envelope had two small envelopes inside with names on them.......

one was labeled dear future children and the other said dear future husband now me being the curious human i am i decided to open both envelopes. i opens the one that was labeled dear future husband first there were 3 notes in there so i just started reading.

letter one of three
if you are going to fall in love with me. here are some thing you should know before hand. i cry often. whether it's during a movie, a sad song on the radio, or a regular sunday morning. ill cry when i speak of things that have hurt me even if the don't hurt anymore, sometimes you may not see me cry. i'm afraid of being left. and i'm afraid of not being good enough. i will tell you ways in which i hate myself,and  i won't believe a single word you say when you disagree with each and every reason. you can tell me you love me countless time, but i will still be afraid of you leaving me. dont blame your self. i have to expect the worst, because  i always get the worts. when i fall in love with you, i will love each crack in your skin and every freckle of light in your eyes. i will fall in love with the way you look while you'r sleeping, and the way your mouth curves when you say my name. i can be difficult to love, but for me loving you will always be so easy. all i ask is that you dont give up on me and in return, i will never give up on you, and i will love you with my entire heart. and if one day you decide to leave, i will still think highly of you. i will still remember the kindhearted person you are.
            - XoXo Maggie 

letter two of three

i want to spoil you, encourage you, and love you. i want to be there beside you as your fulfilling your dreams-- encouraging you every step of the way. i want to make you laugh when you're having a bad day. i want to make you fall in love with me every single day. it's not always about what you can do for me but what i can do for you. in my opinion, that's love. its when you stop being selfish and begin being selfless. 

             - XoXo Maggie

letter three of three 
i just dont want to marry you to wake up to you everyday or be with you forever, i want to marry you bc marriage is hard, rausung kids is hard, debt& bills& relatives & jobs& blending two families & lives is hard, and you're the person i want to go through bad times with. life is never going to be all butterflies& rainbows just bc you marry your soulmate. life is hard,& i want to marry you & love you everyday through every bump in the road. i want to be your rock as i want you to be mine. i dont want to marry you bc its cute and exciting. i want to marry your because it's real & hard work & a life time of ups & downs with you is worth every second of it

             -XoXo Maggie 

while i was reading the letters that Maggie wrote to either me on someone in the future. i noticed how much i want to marry that girl. even though we have only been together for about 11 months. she means so much to me. i decide that due to the fact that shes writing to our future child i might as well read what shes telling him/her. 

Letter one of two

one day, if its 3am and you find you self in a world of complete dispair. please dont turn to streangers on the internet for solace as i did, please climb into my bed & i will hoal you until the demons sleep. if it is a thursday morning and you're too sad to move, i wont force you to.. i will buy ice cream & we will watch your favorite tv show and i will remind you of your importance. if you feel like you have no purpose, i will remind you that you were created entitely with lovw & every pain you feel, i feel as well. when you're sure you can't go on anymore, i will tell you that when i was a teenager i searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a a bottle of pain killers, but years later when you were placed in to my arms in the delivery rom. i relized you were the reason i've been holding on for so long & you saved me. so if you ever think about grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down. We will get into the car and i will drive you until the sky turns magenta. i will show you hoe the sun rises, and encouraging you to rise too. sweethear i refuse to be unaware of your sufferings, as my mother was to mine...

            Love mom

Letter two of two

I hope you fall in love with being alive. i hope you read books and understand that life is so much more than a snapchat form a boy you won't remember in a couple of years. i hope you feel pursued. I hope you have the best of friends, and even hope you get into trouble together. i hope you make fun memories and take too many pictures and scream at the top of your lungs on roller coasters. I hope you swim in the depths of the oceans, and feel the dirt underneath your fingernails when you climb mountains. i hope you know the joys of genuine laughter, and I hope you know the difference between wisdom and test scores. i hope you do more that sit around and complain about the things that could change- because i hope you are the change. i hope you journal and write every thought down. i hope you learn how to skate, and that you fruits and vegetables, i hope you treat your body well, and respect your reputations. but i also hope you have fun. in fact, i hope you have unapologetic fun. Because my love, i hope you fall in love with being alive.

           love mom

 After i got done reading the last letter i got a call from gabbie. 

G: Hey jonah 

jo: hey  gabbie whats up

G: Oh right can you come to the mall and take Maggie to the hospital 
Jo: why dose she need to go to the hospital 
M: BECAUSE YOU ASSHOLE IM GOING INTO LABOR SO GET YOU ASS OVER HERE 
Jo: oh god im on my way 

time skip to after they get to the hospital and after she delivers the baby

Doc: Congrats its a ...........

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

w/c: 1479  

hey sorry for the lack of updates

socials:

ig: yuh_yuh_yuh_besson

twitter: besson_yuh_yuh_

Picsart: yuh_yuh_yuh_besson
youtube: yuh_yuh_yuh_besson

vsco: k8lynn08