SpiderMan oneshots

Weird moods

Peter POV

I don't know why but lately I've just been feeling weird. And by lately I mean the past 2 years and by weird I mean depressed. May put me on meds but I hate the way they make me feel. It's like the sensor the sadness but they also sensor the happiness and then I'm just a numb blob.

I know it's not good but I only take my medicine if she 'reminds me' about it. So that's only like twice a week. The medicine is only like half in my system so I'm really messed up. I just want to lock myself up in my room and listen to music while staring at the ceiling crying. That's normal right?

Well that's what I'm doing now. I have a popcorn ceiling so it's cool to try and make random designs out of the textures. It's almost 1am and I have to get up at like 7 so I really should be asleep, but I can't.

I keep zoning out and staring at the walls and ceiling while listening to the lyrics.

"I don't think I'm allowed to make a deal with all your selfish ways"

Hm, interesting. In many ways I feel selfish for feeling the way that I do and pushing people away instead of letting them in. I sigh and flip my arms on my bed.

"I'm sorry I can't help you, somebody should have had your back."

If only someone would say that to me. Don't get me wrong, my friends have noticed somethings up but I don't even really know how to explain my feelings to myself let alone them. I feel my eyelids get droopy but my mind is still awake.

I sit up and dangle one leg over the side of the bed. I look around my room at all the random shit in here. I notice the clothes hanging in my closet look so colorful and out of place for some reason. I groan slightly and look away.

God why is my body so itchy? I scratch my thighs and shoulder maybe a bit too hard. It's probably hard to fall asleep cause my light is on. I get up from my bed and forget I'm not wearing any bottoms.

I hate how my mind is. Horny one second and numb the next. That's how my life has been for about the past 3 months. It's annoying as fuck. To orgasm and then 5 minutes later being numb or depressed over nothing.

I flip the switch off and slink back into my bed and lay down under the covers. My foot must have a bug bite on it or something cause it really itches.

Do I really have to poop now? I literally just got comfortable and ready to fall asleep. I distract myself by using my left foot to itch my right. I pickup my phone and scroll on twitter for a bit.

God, it's so boring. I hate depression