You use to be lively
with the lights on
Always being loud with laughter
You use to dance around your room
and listen to upbeat music
But it seems all you listen to nowadays
is the music people cry too
You were never much of a crier
But recently I can see your fighting it
You use to be distant but comfortable
But nowadays you just seem overwhelmed and needy
You use to take hour long showers while singing to the sun
But soon took shorter ones never taking your time and just waiting to be done
You use to sleep
but now you just stay up all night on that phone
doing nothing
You claim you stay up to have more time
but i know its cause your scared
Your scared of not waking up
Of the new homework that will end up never getting done
Of the fact that one day soon you'll have to face the problems you're trying to avoid
You use to be haunted by the feelings of being anxious and always being scared
You once conquered these haunting feelings
but they making their way back
I know because it's obvious
I can see the worry on your face
And the avoidance in your actions
Your room once seemed like a palace
Lovely homey and a place of escape
But now it feels more like a prison
Trapping you, the false sense of being safe
keeping you inside to someday perish
And all i can ask you is
what happened Bethany?
What happened?
You use to enjoy wasting your time
And now it just feels like a need
What happened ?
You use to be so care free
and seemed to have everything figured out
but now you're scared
just to face what duties that someday you won't be able to ignore.
What happened?
And yes I know you want to escape
I know you just want to get up and leave
But you'll never be able to if you keep living like this
you haven't been with someone just to be with someone in weeks
Instead you just stay in your dark room lonely and broken
What happened?
You use to feel nothing and now you feel everything
And you want to cry
but you killed that side of you a long time ago
because you thought it was stupid and weak
And now you know it wasn't
What happened?
You use to have sense of meaning
But recently it just feels like you have to move on
Even if you don't want too
It feels like no one cares
and your just a rug
But instead of being walked on
your just dragged
Dragged along
until they realize
how bad of a rug you really are
But please
stop
Stop listening to the
beautiful symphony of your
distractions and desires
and breath
Just
Breath
And then
Forgive
Forgive your fears
Your mistakes
Your failures
And you wrong doings
Forgive
Because that's really the only thing
you can do if you want to move on
