Energizer Bunny X Hitler A forbidden love

A trip to Ikea

(I don't own any of these characters, good god I hope I don't get sued)

Enegizer Bunny:

It was a February morning specifically Friday the 13th. I hopped out of bed as I always do (Pun intended). I threw my ears into a messy bun "because I'm extremely quirky" I think to myself. But I was interrupted by my father, Bob Duncan (From the beloved hit classic Disney channel original production "Good Luck Charlie". Knocking on the door, he then yells to me from behind the door "I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking but asserting my authority as your father by coming in anyway!" as he bursts through the door.

He tells me that we are going to Ikea today. I was confused by this and asked "But why?" he then responded with " We have to go get the "SEKTION Base cabinet/p-out storage/2 drawer, white Maximera, Bodbyn gray" for the IKEA FAMILY member price of $344.70 (The price reflects selected options Legs and plinth are sold separately.). He had convinced me to go to Ikea but I figured I would be bored all by myself so I asked my father "Is it ok if I invite my good friend dolf?". He then informs me "That I cannot invite dolf because he is a bad influence on me". I then throw a fit and throw my "LIMITED EDITION National Park Foundation Limited Edition 21 oz Standard Mouth Hydro Flask | Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Water Bottle" at him, hitting him in the head. He then yells at me claiming "that all I care about is dolf and that I can never see him again or he will get rid of my sandbox in the backyard of our suburban house located in our suburban neighborhood."

I decided to lie to him as I sit down on my bed I tell him "Fine have it your way, I'll never see dolf again if that's what you want you mayo munching mongolid". My father Bob Duncan then yells for my mother Marina Ida "Marina get in here he's insulting me using Alliteration again!". My mother then runs into my room also she looks at me then back at my father she questions him "Was he really pulling that lame shit again?" my father then nods as my mother informs me that "When we get divorced it is all your fault and we would have given you up for adoption but the dog pound wouldn't put you down". As my father agrees with this statement he looks at my  "LIMITED EDITION National Park Foundation Limited Edition 21 oz Standard Mouth Hydro Flask | Vacuum Insulated Stainless Steel Water Bottle" which has his blood on it from when I threw it at him, he then looks inside and realizes it still has ice in it because of its amazing insulation. 

After my parents leave my room they yell to me "We are leaving for Ikea in negative 8 minutes hurry ur ass up hoe" I then put my ears up in an even messier bun again throw on my Gucci bright yellow crocs and fall down the stairs on purpose. Once inside the car I whip out my "Vtech Peppa Pig Let's Chat Learning children's Phone the English Version of course" I then proceed to text dolf. 

                                                                                                       9:11: Hey I have go Ikea u go Ikea cabenet>?

                                                                                                                                                                                     Read

4:20: Yea Ikea washer and dryer ill be go their :0                    

                                                                                                                               9:11: k meet me pit ball, ball pit

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4:20: im here yellow ball specifacly in the far left

 corner away from the piss drawer

Once we arrived at Ikea I ran inside and was sure to buy an Ikea bucket hat made from Idea bags with the iconic Ikea logo on it, for the price of 3$ CAD. After I bought my bucket hat I naruto ran backwards towards the ball pit. I saw dolf, the love of my life. As soon as I saw him trying not to touch any pall pit pee I knew he was the one I was going to marry, execpt for my parents but I pushed those thoughts to the back of my head as I asked dolf "Wana go shit in the display toilets?" He responded with "yes, of course, let's go"

We ran as fast as we could possibly run once we got to the Idea toilets we made sure to shit in all of them and piss in all the kitchen cabinets. We then had a shopping cart battle, whoever could run over the most toddlers with their shopping cart wins.I then yelled to Dolf "Dolf you only won because a kids hair got stuck in my shopping cartwheel and I had to stop!". I was having so much fun I didn't see the 13 missed calls from my father, Bob Duncan. I started freaking out knowing that once he finds me he will be pissed and probably eat my Ikea bucket hat. Dolf was watching as this was happing and told me "Dont worry its ok dont. be . sad." I relized he was right and we went to see my dad, Bob Duncan. As soon as he saw Dolf standing beside me he freaked out, I made sure to record him freaking out with my "Vtech Peppa Pig Let's Chat Learning children's Phone the English Version of course" Because I know if I post this on youtube it won't go viral because the youtube algorithm favors massive corporate entities instead of independent creators. 

We then get inside our Thomas the tank engine themed car leaving dolf inside of walmart to run over toddlers with shopping carts, I was buckling up my seatbelt so I wouldn't die if we got into a car accident my dad, Bob Duncan tells me "You are never seeing dolf ever again he's a terrible person" I decided not to respond to him because that would make the situation worse. I have decided that from this day forward I will have to keep my relationship with dolf a secret" 

(To be continued if I ever stop being lazy and watching too much hentai)