Catching Coal Bonus Files

Her Return

Length: 2,344 words
Ships: Jenny X Ava
Description: Seven and a half months after Jenny leaves the City of Lynnea, Ava finally comes to terms with her sexuality. What will she do when Jenny suddenly reappears in her life?

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"All I ask you to do is take a good look at yourself, an honest one. Don't look at what you wish to be or what others wish you could be, but who you really are. And if after you do, you realize that you're straight, that's okay. And if you find that you're gay, that's okay too. Because you're supposed to be amazing just the way you are, and you shouldn't care about what others think. You should be comfortable with who you are. Most importantly, you should be happy. You only live once, Aves. So live for yourself."

It's been almost eight months, yet those words followed Ava wherever she went. She managed to live for nearly two hundred years without questioning who she really was, yet it all went to waste as soon as Jenny appeared in her life.

At first, Ava simply saw in her an influential female figure - one that doesn't let other people decide for her. A smart and skilled woman who can stand up for herself and doesn't let anyone tell her what to do. But, the more she got to know her, the deeper her feelings for her became. It started out as just friendship and respect, but it soon turned out to be an odd need to remain near her. To be next to her. To hear her sarcastic remarks and see her signature smirk directed at her.

The first time the two kissed, she did it out of curiosity. Ava knew she was impulsive, but she has never managed to take this into consideration before acting. She'd always realize how deep of a mess she had created for herself after she'd already be knee-deep in it. And at that moment, all she knew was that she had the perfect excuse as to why put her lips on top of Jenny's.

The plan obviously backfired immediately, but Jenny was understanding and eventually dropped the subject after Ava kept insisting that she was simply messing with her.

The second time they kissed was completely different. It was so much more emotional, much more significant to Ava. But at the same time, it left her more confused and troubled than ever.

'I just needed someone to comfort me. I was scared and weak and in pain. Jenny just happened to be there.' She kept thinking to herself like a mantra.

But then, why were Jenny's words still stuck in her head?

The day Jenny announced that she was leaving for the human world, Ava felt as if a hole was created in her chest. She didn't want Jenny to go; she always assumed she'd stay by her side. But then again, it's not like she had a reason to. It's not like they were in love or anything, right?

Right...?

Jenny's absence from Ava's life was probably the wake-up call she needed. Because Ava couldn't move on, no matter how hard she tried. That night at the infirmary kept crawling back into her mind, the memory of Jenny's lips brushing against hers, the feeling of her still lingered and sent chills down her spine. It forced Ava to ask herself that question, the same one Jenny told her to ask herself back then.

'Who really am I?'

It didn't happen like magic. The answer Ava was looking for didn't fall on her from the sky. But after months of hard work, she finally came to accept the truth about herself.

Ava had feelings for Jenny. She wasn't as straight as she had always hoped she'd be.

'If you find that you're gay, that's okay too.'

Coming to that realization slowly made Ava feel like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. As if she has made the biggest confession of her life. Even though, it didn't make her miss Jenny's presence any less. It was suddenly easier to think about her. The memories and emotions flooded her mind, constantly reminding her of that woman who changed everything for her.