playing with fire-g.d

13

bella's pov

I keep tossing and turning in my bed as I have been for the past two hours.

why can't my brain just shut the fuck up?

its because of him.

because of grayson.

lately I haven't been able to stop thinking about him and not in a strictly physical way because im horny.

I keep thinking of things other than how hot he is or how great the sex is. I think of things like his smile and his deep brown eyes and how he's just as beautiful as he is hot.

I don't just feel things between my legs when I think about him, I feel a fluttering in my chest, in my heart.

oh shit! I've just realised why I can't stop thinking about him.

this thing with grayson, the having sex behind his girlfriend's back, its not just casual fun for me anymore.

ive fallen for him.

I actually like him more than some fuck buddy.

holy shit, this isn't good!

I have to tell someone, I cant keep this to myself because these feelings will eat me up.

there's only one person I really trust with something like this.

"oh....my...fucking....god" is kelsey's initial reaction to when I tell her everything that's going on, grayson cheating on alexis with me and now its caused me to catch feelings for him.

"I know" I reply and sigh "its crazy".

kelsey runs her hands through her hair and stares at me with wide eyes, "bella this is huge! fucking the most popular boy in our grade when he's dating the most popular girl...thats the drama of the whole year!".

I bite my lip, "no ones supposed to know...I had to tell you because when I realised I like him I just couldn't keep it to myself. I can't keep things just casual when I feel more for him but I can't resist him, I'm stuck here".

"you're damn right, you've actually fallen for someone you can't have, you know that right?".

I blink in surprise from her words, what the fuck does she mean?

"what? what'd you mean I cant have him?".

kelsey sighs at me, "its grayson dolan, he doesn't catch feelings and just keeps it casual and on a sexual level. thats how it is with his own girlfriend and lets be honest, with her status in school he's not gonna leave her. they're the power couple of the school".

my fists clench at all of this and I want to get mad but there is some truth in what sahar is saying, grayson is a "no strings attached" guy and probably doesn't return my feelings and he might not wanna leave alexis. if he did then surely he would have now, especially since we've been hooking up.

"so...what should I do?" I ask and cross my arms over my chest.

kelsey leans over my bed and takes my hand in hers, a sympathetic look in her eyes as she looks at me.

"realise who the fuck you are and that you don't need some dick like dolan" she tells me "cut him out, stop fucking him before it all gets too deep and you get your heart broke".

I listen to her words and they turn over in my head.

can I do that?

cut grayson out and call it quits on what we're doing?

it would help me get over him easier and not get hurt.

my head is telling me to do just that but my heart is saying something else. I rarely listen to my heart as thats a good way to get it broken into a million pieces.

I consider whats a stake here and take a deep breath.

"okay" I say and squeeze my friend's hand "ill do that".