Him

Friends with Benefits

     Our chemistry was crazy, there was something about his fake stiff ass that warmed me up inside. I had to move smart though, because I understood that he was in a serious relationship.

Our nightly talks became the highlight of my days, but again, I wanted to protect my feelings. Eventually, I accepted the fact that I was turning into his side bitch. If you knew me, you'd know how prideful I am, how possessive I am, and how cheating was something I'd never condone. But this nigga wrapped me up in his web of charm. A milk chocolate man with a gorgeous smile that I melted over.

I made it up in my mind that I'd do whatever he wanted me to do and be whoever he wanted me to be.

For about a month our constant nightly talks continued and one day I lowkey demanded that he took me on a date. See, the thing was, I wanted to fuck him, but I didn't want it to look like I wasn't getting anything out of the deal. He was reluctant but eventually agreed and this nigga took me to the drive-in movies.

I won't lie, I had no interest in seeing the movie once we got there. I wanted him, I could taste him even before I tasted him. After all this time of flirting and casual touching in the car I wanted the dick.

I was always so passive and submissive, but the aggression building up in me couldn't stand to wait, I immediately went for the kill... and he rejected me. It was like he wanted to see how hard I'd work for it. So I tried again and he moved my hand. REJECTIONNN.

"Why are you acting like this?" I asked

"Because you not trying to fuck and you not gone give me blue balls." he said.

At that moment he was right though, because I kept preaching about how I wasn't having sex with someone who had a girlfriend. But he just didn't know that I no longer gave a fuck.

Eventually he figured out that I was with the fuck shit and he said "let's go to my uncle's house he's out of town."

"Why can't we go to your house? I don't wanna go to people house and fuck, that's disrespectful." I said.

"I live with my sister and I don't want her in my business." he convinced me.

"Fine, whatever". I said.

When we got to what was "supposedly" his uncle's house. He had me stand outside for what seemed like forever and I was creeped out because there were cats everywhere and it was dark.

Eventually he opened the door and invited me in. My mind started to wonder because why the fuck would I need to stand outside for so long?

Any who, when I walked in my vibe was off. I knew something, if not everything he told me was a lie. But I was so hungry for him I didn't question anything. I began taking my clothes off and so did he.

It was terrible. It was quick. My pussy dried extremely fast. That was when I realized I was just a nut to him. There was no attachment, there was no feeling, just a nut. My feelings were hurt, I felt defeated. It was at that moment that I began to beat myself up.

"You know better! This is not even who you are!" I said to myself while walking to the car.

The ride home was pretty quiet. He tried to engage in conversation, but I had nothing to say. I made it up in my mind that this would be my last time seeing him.

Days went by and I guess my lack of or no communication at all bothered Him. I didn't expect him to hit me up at all, but he did. I was reluctant to reply, but there was just something about him that I couldn't put my finger on.

I agreed to see him on my break and he was on time as usual.

"Hell you been girl?" he asked. I cringed because it was something about when a nigga from the Westside of Atlanta talked that made my pussy cream on command.

"I been around. I won't lie, I didn't enjoy the other night. It didn't seem like you were trying to make me enjoy it either." I confessed.

"I thought you were enjoying it, ya pussy was wet." He said.

I rolled my eyes in aggravation, but I guess I could give it another shot.

"How about I get a hotel room?" I said willing to see if it would be better the next time around.

"Bet, just tell me when and where." He said.

I hopped out of the car and whipped up my master plan, I'm going to get this nigga how I want him.

About a week later I figured out what I was going to do. Although he had a woman already, I was invested in this man. I wanted to show him something different.

I planned out everything carefully and intentionally. I booked a room, purchased candles, rose petals, a bottle of Hennessy and ordered food. I found this cute laced bodysuit that could double as lingerie and knee-high socks to match.

My hair was braided so I pulled two pieces from each side back and tied them and let the rest hang. My nails were done and painted with glitter and I had a nice shiny lip gloss on. I oiled my body in coconut oil and tried to breathe to get over the anxiety.