A Risk I'm Willing to Take

Fifteen

I quickly pulled two bowls out of the microwave and shut the door with my hip.

"Ok, so be careful with the bowls. They're a little hot."

I gingerly handed Marigold a polka dotted orange ceramic bowl. Orion took the green bowl in my other hand.

"It smells good." Orion dipped his plastic spoon into the oatmeal.

"That's the cinnamon."

"So where are the dinosaurs?" Marigold poked at her oatmeal.

"Let me see." I took her spoon and pushed some of the oatmeal aside. "There." I pointed at a small sugar egg that was dissolving into the oats. "The little blue thing that comes out of the shell is the little baby dinosaur."

Marigold nodded and scooped the dinosaur up with some oatmeal. She looked it over for a second before committing and taking a bite.

She pushed the oatmeal around her mouth with her tongue. After a minute she chewed and swallowed.

"Did you not like it, Marigold?"

"It tastes good." She looks up at me. "It feels weird."

"What are you feeling?" I crouched down to be eye level with her.

"It's a..." She scrunched her face. "A tingly feeling."

"Is it like the feeling you feel in your hands when you hold the bowl?"

She nodded. "Yeah but in my mouth."

"That feeling is because your food is warm."

She looked confused.

"Have you never had warm food before?"

She shook her head.

How could you deprive children of warm food? She was eight. How had she never had warm food before? Even prisoners got hot meals.

It was really like having three infants at once.

What else had they not experienced? Did they know how read or write? Did they know how to tie shoes?

They deserved an education, but how would be able to catch them up to their peers?

The children that were being kept in that compound really were just the government's science experiments. They did not care about the kids' quality of life or development.

It was only ever about what they could gain from the things that made the children special.

They were selfish and greedy.

I dared them to try and come and arrest me. I would fight tooth and nail to keep these kids.

It would be a lot harder for the military and government to take them back after what I had planned for tomorrow morning.

"Logan! Can you please be careful with her?" I screeched from the desk.

Lavender kicked her dangling legs. She was giggling brightly. She was having fun but that didn't calm my nerves.

Logan turned his head to look at me from my bed. "Don't worry, Gemma. I won't drop her."

I glared at him. How was I already the bad cop? I was glad he was having fun with my kids but I couldn't fight my instinct to try and keep them safe.

"Just be careful." I turned back to the article I was writing. I was trying to get the article on the Storming of Area 51 done by tomorrow.

I hoped it would go over well. I had been nervously checking my phone for any news on arrests or developments but everything was quiet. It was almost as if the raid hadn't even happened.

"Dada." Lavender burbled.

"Gemma!" Logan squealed. He sat up and held Lavender on his lap.

I whipped around and jumped out of the desk chair. "Did you drop my child?"

Logan smiled. "No. I think she called me Dada." He smiled at Lavender and started bouncing.

I winced. She could not be getting attached to him like that. Logan was a friend and nothing more. Maybe it was a mistake inviting him over.

"Congrats..." I mustered.

What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to put my foot down and set boundaries? The kids were right here though. They liked Logan a lot but maybe that's just because he's one of only two friendly people they know.

He wasn't their father now and he was never going to be their father. I didn't want to hurt the kids but that is just the way things are.

He wasn't going to be sticking around. He was going to be staying in LA with his actual girlfriend. If he wanted kids he could take it up with her.

I was taking the kids back to Mississippi and we were going to live in an on-campus apartment while I finished school.

Besides in six month he'll be on a tour bus, in another country, doing what he does best. The fangirls will be chasing him down again, longing for a picture with their idol. He'll be preforming show after show for nearly a year.

He had bandmates, a crew, a record label, and millions of fans. His life was one of fame and happiness. One that some people had believed I would've have. 

That was his life, not raising some kids with a college student.