Merlin and Y/N sitting in a tree...

(Not) Getting Married Today

(Merlin X Reader)

A/N: Hey er'body - I was watching Sondheim's 'Company' yesterday and I was inspired to write this song fic about it based on the lyrics in the original song.

Hope you enjoy!

—

(Scene: In the grand hall, everybody is sat down on chairs, whilst Merlin waits anxiously with best man, Arthur.

Y/N is in the dressing room with Morgana, agitated and pacing)

MERLIN

Today is for Y/N,

Y/N, I give you the rest of my life,

To cherish and to keep you,

To honour you forever,

Today is for Y/N,

My happily, soon to be, wife.

Y/N

Pardon me, is everybody there?

Because if everybody's there,

I'd like to thank you all

For coming to the wedding.

I'd appreciate you going even more,

I mean, you must have lots of better things to do,

And not a word of it to Merlin

Remember Merlin? You know, the man I'm going to marry

But I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin anyone

As wonderful as he is.

Thank you all for the gifts and the flowers,

Thank you all, now it's back to the showers,

Don't tell Merlin, I'm not getting married today.

GWEN

Bless this day,

Tragedy of life,

Husband bound to wife,

The heart leaps up

And feels dead

This dreadful day.

MERLIN

Y/N, I can't find my good cuff links?

Y/N

They're on the table! (Whispering) Right next to my suicide note...

Listen everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for

A wedding. What's a wedding? It's a prehistoric ritual

Where everybody promises fidelity forever,

Which is maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of,

Which is followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize

He's saddled with a nut, and want to kill me, which he should.

Thanks a bunch, but I'm not getting married

Go have lunch, 'cause I'm not getting married

You've been grand, but I'm not getting married

Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married

And don't tell Merlin, I'm not getting married today.

Go! Can't you go?

Why is nobody listening?

Goodbye! Go and cry