I was 18 years old and finally losing my virginity – to the biggest cock I'd ever seen.
My hands clutched the headboard. My eyes were half-closed but I still remember my pale knuckles as I squeezed tight. I was on Jim’s bed, on all fours. It was the first time I had ever been on all fours with a man. My bottom in the air, cheeks splayed, open and exposed. Jim’s penis was buried inside me – all the way inside me. It had taken some time and persistence, but we had finally managed it.
Jim pulled back slowly and then pushed forward again. I felt his pubic hair rub against mine, his huge balls brushing against my labia. I had never felt so full, so stretched. My vagina throbbed with an exquisite mixture of discomfort and pleasure. I’d wanted Jim to fuck me from behind for weeks, but I feared he was too big. We’d already tried and failed twice.
Now, though, I’d finally taken him. He was mine and I was his. Jim made me feel adored, owned, possessed even – and I loved it. I’d do anything for him. We were smitten.
It was one o’clock in the morning, another Saturday night in Sudbury Hill in 1988, and we were in Jim’s bedroom. With his mum away, we’d thrown an impromptu party in their ramshackle council house. Our friends, Vanessa and Dean, were outside in the scrap of a back garden, engaged in one of their usual verbal battles, fuelled by lust and Lowenbrau lager.
I could hear bikers in the kitchen, the creaking leathers and clatter of beer-bottle tops on the linoleum mixing with the sound of Bon Jovi’s "Bad Medicine." The bikers groaned loudly. If Vanessa had played that song once tonight, she’d played it ten times already. Jon sang again, and I just knew Vanessa was gyrating in an indecently short skirt and flashed her blonde pubes at Dean – like a pole dancer without a pole.
I knew exactly what was going on, but that was the other world. My world was with Jim in that bedroom. We’d been that way since we came together in the Kings Head a month earlier. As Vanessa said to me the day after, “There is your life BJ and your life AJ – ‘Before Jim’ and ‘After Jim'.” We both roared with laughter, but she was right.
Summer 1988 was my summer of sex. I lost my virginity and my inhibitions. I stopped caring about my college work or going to university, and stopped caring what my mother and increasingly absent father thought. I just cared about Jim. Even Vanessa was shocked. “You’re crazy for that boy’s cock,” she whispered one night, as we queued at the bar in the Hammersmith Clarendon. “You can’t get enough of it – right here.”
Vanessa slipped her hand between my thighs and squeezed my pussy through my tight black leggings. God! She was outrageous. I giggled nervously. My cunt felt hot and swollen all the time now, like something had been triggered inside. I was, quite literally, a bitch on heat. As Vanessa cupped my mound, I felt a flutter in my belly. I worried she’d notice how warm my vagina was. I wasn’t certain, but had an inkling I was wet. These days I was always slightly wet, as if my body was primed for Jim at any time.
The sexual summer began properly when I lost my virginity in my bedroom. I’d never been a superstitious person, and always laughed when our biker friends suggested a tarot reading. But I do think the heavens aligned in my favour. Just after Jim and I got together in the pub, my parents went to Devon for three days, taking my sister with them.
Mum’s sister, Aunt Jenny, was supposed “to keep an eye on me”. She did, turning up to cook a meal for us both but excusing herself and leaving me alone every night. We later discovered Jenny was having a torrid affair with a married car salesman. My mother was outraged; Good for her, I thought. Looks like I wasn’t the only woman in the family getting their brains fucked out.
