just let me love you

Chapter 4

I wake to my familiar room and force myself out of bed. My feet take me to the attached bathroom, not bothering to open my curtains. The mirror reflects my hungover face and I grown in disgust. I run a quick shower and pick out a red wine off the shoulder sweater and some dark blue jeans. As I blow dry my hair a notification appears on my phone. It's from Jake and I practically drop everything out of my hands.

'Hey, last night was fun and I was wondering if you would wanna hang out with me tonight' the text reads.

My elbows meet the bathroom counter and I burry my head in my hands. I completely forgot about him and instantly regret giving him my number. I like him a lot. But I can't date, im actually done with it. I can't be hurt like that again, the last ounce of trust I had for anyone was gone after Caleb hit me. That toxic relationship was impossible to bear and I can't risk myself again. I attract the wrong boys and get tied up. I held on to Caleb and I should have tried to end it as soon as I saw the red flags. I clear the flashback from my mind and force myself to finish getting ready.
Courtney wants to go shopping so have to get my hair and makeup done.
I apply some foundation, mascara, lip gloss and highlighter. No matter whether I'm hungover or not I wear makeup everyday. I know I shouldn't wear it all the time but I'm more comfortable and with my job I have to. So even on days I'm not at work I still wear some. I put my hair in loose curls, once it's dry and have some breakfast.

As I finish up wiping the kitchen bench, Courtney stumbles through the door with a booming smile. She has already gotten ready for the day but she isn't as hungover as me. Half of her wardrobe is at Jace's house and she leaves her stuff there all the time. She practically lives there.
"Hey, did you have a nice night with Jace", I ask.
"Yeeessss, he wants to take me to 'Clair de Lune' tonight. It's one of the most expensive restaurants in the city!", she practically yells.
"Yeh I know the one, remember Caleb would always take me there" I say.
"Oh I'm sorry...I forgot, I am so sorry", she says as she walks over to comfort me.
"I'm fine, I don't need to be pitied", I push her hand away.  I still have wounds from Caleb but I'm not broken or in need to be fixed. I don't need help or support because I can get through this myself I've always gotten through by myself.
"I'm sorry your happy and I just ruined it." I mentally scold myself.
"No it's fine, you did nothing wrong, I shouldn't have....." she trails off.
It's ok, so you and Jace are going well hey?"I ask to lighten the topic.
"Yeh we are, actually he wants me to move in with him. Well actually we were talking about looking for a place."she says.
"Oh...um, what you're gonna leave me?" I start laughing and she joins.
"No, I'll see you everyday for work and probably every other day to go shopping!" We laugh again. "No but seriously, Alecia you're my best friend and I could never leave you. I love you too much!" She brings me into an embrace.
"I love you too C" I say during the hug.

"So, before I tear up, what are we doing tomorrow for your birthday?"

I pause.

"Oh, come on we are doing something it's your 22nd and it must be celebrated.", she says as I grab my purse and head out the door.

* * *

"No get the black one navy doesn't look cute at all", Courtney says with a disgusted look on in the dressing room of Forever 21.

I agree with her and decide to buy the sleek black dress. It hugs my body and shows all my curves with thin straps. I am hesitant to buy it but bite the bullet and insert my credit card.

"So I was thinking we could get some lunch or something before we get home", Courtney says followed by my nod.

I still haven't texted Jake back yet and I don't want to leave him hanging. I want to hang out with him but I don't want to date.
I find myself typing back and I agree to one completely friend-like night.
"Ooooo.Whose that?", Courtney asks.
"No one", I quickly answer.
"Yeh it's someone, you're smirking as u text and u only did that for Caleb." I glare at her. "Sorry", she answers as she knows I hate talking about him.
"It's just s boy I met last night. But we're just friends, so don't push it. We are gonna hang out tonight so please don't push it!", I tell my best friend.
"Ok, oh I'm so excited now!!",she ecstatically says. I look at her. "It's nothing. I know", she starts silently dancing over me talking to a boy.