Highland Fire ( Manxboy)

Chapter 15

"Son of a mothers whore" he missed that one making Stewart cut him. In all his years since he was a lad he never missed a practice shot until today. Today he was distracted. Not focussed on his training. His side was gushing warm blood and stinging. "Dagues are you alright" Stewart worriedly asked. "Aye call Ewan" he grunted as he held his side. The cut was very deep but that was to be expected since they keep their blades sharp. Ewan knew how to stitch. He'd fix him up in no time. The blood loss made him a bit unstable on his legs so he sat down flat on his ass. Ewan was at his side in minutes with a needle and cotton. Stewart carried some warm water and whiskey. Wordlessly Ewan went to work cleaning and stitching. He hardly felt the pain as he mesmerized by Ewan's delicate hands working fast on him.

He was done to soon for his liking but the stitching was flawless. Ewan just nodded at him and went his damn merry way hence he came from. The silence stretched for an agonizing length of time between him and Stewart until he helped him up. Dagues discovered that his hands were shaking for an unknown reason. He consoled himself by blaming it on the blood loss. His footsteps echoed in the hallway as he walked to his study. Suddenly ever servant disappeared in the castle. Tightening his lips he sat in his chair. He starred blindly into the roaring flames of the fire in the fireplace. His mood was as black as they came. Ewan's distance disturbed him tremendously. "Did he not care for him anymore. Did he overplayed his hand at keeping Ewan at arms length" he wondered. Every time he closed his eyes he found himself tormented by a red head in every way possible. He hated to admit it but he was lost. He had no idea which way forward or how. Trusting Ewan meant telling him sensitive information. It was impossible to trust him.

Not trusting him was another wedge between them. So where to then. This is why he always finds himself seeking sexual obliviousness rather than facing their issues head on. He gave a growl off self disgust. He knew this was not the answer to their problems but it was the only answer he had for now short off sending Ewan away into exile. Cursing softly he poured himself a drink. Once again he found himself thinking off that soft creamy body. He wanted to twist his finger into that mane off red hair while he drank from his sweet mouth.
He cursed again. Now was not the time but the pain was lodged under his ribs. He threw the glass into the flames and gulped from the bottle. He needed to numb himself.

He stumbled and cursed his way to their bedroom. Wondering as to why Ewan would move the furniture right into his path. The room was freezing and Ewan stood on the cold balcony. "Close the damn door and get inside!" He said a little to loud even for his ears. Ewan turned and looked at him. "You drunk Dagues get into bed" he said.

"Aye wife I may be drunk but not drunk enough that I can't see you'll catch your death out in that cold. Call me selfish but I don't wanna spend the rest off my life explaining to Duncan how his mother died" he drawled. Ewan's lips twitched. "Aye Dagues is always about you, isn't it" he said as he entered and closed the doors. "Absolutely. I'm the most selfish bastard you will ever meet right Ewan" he said as he dropped his clothes and got into bed.

"I was stupid wasn't I. Coming here in the first place. Perhaps I should have just gave you Duncan to protect" Ewan said but received no answer. One glance at Dagues told him he was passed out. The snoring followed. Lord knows he was tired so tired if fighting with Dagues. Or keep telling him he loves him. He was tired off paying the price for his stupidity. He resigned himself to the inevitable. Dagues will never forgive him and was not sure that Dagues even loved him. He could have stayed where he stood forever but in the end he decided to get into bed next to Dagues. He placed his hand on Dagues's chest and felt his heartbeat. He gently kissed Dagues on his mouth savouring the taste off whiskey on him. There was no more fighting left. He needed to persuade Dagues to leave him but he had to make it so Dagues does not harbour any guilt. That it was all his fault. Dagues deserved to be happy and as long as he has him he wouldn't be.

He spend his days trying to keep Dagues at a distant. His heart almost stopped today when Stewart told him Dagues has been injured. He prayed all the way to him that it wasn't to bad. He almost cried out off relieve when he saw that the wound was not life threatening. Ewan wasn't sure if he was making things worse or better for Dagues. All he knew was that his presence here was hurting Dagues. The lump in his throat come from nowhere. He locked his jaw. He had to stay strong in his goal. He cannot go weak for Dagues's sake. He laid starring at the man he loved. Wondering what will he do if he was pregnant again. Another baby will make this impossible. Dagues would not let him go. Perhaps if he pretended that the child was not his Dagues would ban him. Nay that is stupid. Dagues would turn this castle upside down hunting for the father just to commit bloody murder. Dagues is a very possessive man. What is his he does not share. That is a path he dared not travel.

Ewan rubbed his hands in his tired eyes. "This is not something I should even be thinking about. Father in heaven how did I mess up so much. But even so do I deserve being pained all the time. Can he not just punish once and for all. Please." Ewan spoke in prayer.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to sleep. He knew that the answer to his prayer will not be coming in the darkness off the night or so he thought. He let the sleep take him.

Later in the dead of the night Ewan woke up to someone breaking down the their door in knocking. To his surprise Dagues was already up. "Dagues what is going on." he asked groggily. "Go back to  sleep Ewan" Dagues ordered as he walked to the door. Ewan didn't fight him he just snuggled deeper into the fur and drifted away.

                                                                                                            
           Thank you for reading and all your comments. I try to edit as much as I can. Sorry for the errors. You all deserved all these updates because I neglected you. I have worked double shifts this week to make it good. See you next week.