Wading || H.S

baby boy

"I'm about to burn this bitch down!" I yell as I throw his phone at him. This nigga thinks I'm stupid.
"You needa chill." He said chuckling. "I told you ain't shit happen, she was just coolan with me." He's got to be kidding me. I found him in bed with a bottle girl from the club, and he's still lying to me.
"Jose I saw you with her." I'm so exhausted of this back and forth with him.
"I know I was here when it happened dummy." 
I lunged at him and started swinging. I caught him off guard and busted his lip. He picked me up and slammed me on the floor. We always fight like this. I'm tired of the lies and the cheating. The one time I threatened to cheat back he broke my wrist. I can't leave him. I love him too much. He was my everything. My man, my boyfriend, my first love, my supporter. We've been together for 2 years. Yet I'm still not his first choice.
"I'm going to leave you." I lie.
"Yeah when that day happens let me know. Until then I'm going out Shug." He said as he pulled a shirt over his head. "And when I get back your attitude better be gone or you will be." He slammed the front door to our apartment. I was left on the floor with a mind full of dreary thoughts. This man didn't love me. He hurts me emotionally and we beat the shit out of each other. I've never been unloyal to him. I had his back when he had nothing. And this is how he does me? "Fuck you!" I screamed as I stood up. I marched into our shared bedroom and grabbed his clothes from our closet. I start throwing piece by piece off the balcony. I run to the kitchen and grab a knife. I run back to our room to find it. A picture of us blown out. I start stabbing it.

My life would've been so different if I listened to my mom. I met Jose 2 years ago. I was 17. He was 20. We lived in the same broke down neighborhood in L.A. Around that time my brother had been shot and killed. His name was Daniel and he was 16. He was younger than me and acted like he was my father. I was going through a really rough patch in my life and Jose was there. He was my brother's boss. A crime boss. He taught my brother how to sell drugs.
2 weeks after my brother's murder I was out getting high at some party. I decided to walk home and get some fresh air. It was dark, really dark. I heard footsteps behind me. Ump ump ump ump. There wasn't much people outside so I grew nervous. I quickly turned around and didn't see anyone. I picked up my pace and kept walking. Ump ump ump ump. The footsteps sounded closer this time. I didn't bother to turn back. I just took off running. I was wearing barely to nothing and had on heels. Whoever was behind me was going to get me until- a car from the side of me screeched to a stop. I didn't see the car when I ran across the street. It could've hit me. I winced as my hands were scraped on the pavement and my knees were bloody. I looked up to see a tall figure step out of a black sleek Audi. He came over to me and helped me up. I looked at who almost ran me over. I knew him.
"You good?" He asked looking into my eyes.
"I- I'm okay." I stuttered stuck on his face. He was so attractive. He had tattoos littered on his neck and one on his face.
"Don't I know you?" He asked. "No." I lied.
I don't want him to know me. I don't want to be associated with anyone who knew my brother. They let him die. "Well somebody was following you. I whipped over here when I saw y'all down the street. I'm taking you home." He stated. "Okay." Was all I said.
We never made it home that night. That night I shared his bed. That night I lost my virginity. From that day on I've been at his side. He was my first everything. My first thug.