𝖳𝖺𝗒𝗆𝗈𝗋 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗃𝗈𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇 𝗍𝗋𝗒 𝗍𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗌𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗇𝗂𝖼𝗄.
━━━━━━━☆☆━━━━━━━
"come on jonny i wanna bring nick this soup to make him feel better." jonathan smiled pulling out the keys.
nick had been a little depressed lately and the two just wanted to make him happy. they always made sure after they came home from work to bring him a gift or some food.
one of them would ask him about his day and listen to him fully. once jonathan got the door open he stopped putting his hand in front of taymor stopping him from coming in.
a chair was fallen in front of their stair bars there also was a rope. taymor quickly moved his hand and walked towards the kitchen.
there, there laid nick with a bullet in his head. taymor felt dizzy and sick. he fell to the grown letting out a terrifying scream.
jonathan quickly raced into the kitchen and paused seeing his second lover, nick dead on their kitchen floor. the person he inspired to be as happy as.
☆☆
the funeral was just like any one. nick's parents pulled taymor and jonathan aside and told them that they hope to still be in contact.
jahseh and stokeley had made some food that would last them at least three week. even though they promised they would come over everyday and make them food.
micheal and jamell promised that after michel had the baby they'd back over there everyday.
even with all of their friends help it didn't help. taymor and jonathan had lost all hope in life. nothing mattered anymore.
taymor had decided one day to write nick a letter, it would be the only way he'd cleanse his soul of this pain. jonathan bought taymor notebooks and pens not sure how long it was going to be.
now he was on his final page of his 7th notebook. he decided this was going his goodbye letter to nick. he had just written about how amazing nick was but now? he was going to talk about the day he took his life.
nick,
I hope you got what you wanted
I hope you finally happy
It's too late for you
Been going out of my mind
You don't know how many times that I done prayed for you
I hope you hear me, goddamn it
Cause I got so much shit that I wanna say to you
I used to shine, now I'm all in the dark
I remember I used to tell you to follow your heart
But goddamn it, look at you now, it's all of your fault
How could you?
Maybe it's my fault
I shoulda paid more attention to what you been doing
Maybe I should have been more of an influence
I can't believe that you're dead, I fu-
I read your letter and all I could do is have mixed feelings about it
But I'll forever be attached to you, damn
Part of me feels bad for you
A part of me feels like you weak and I'm mad at you
And I don't mean to be insensitive
But I don't understand how we couldn't prevent this shit
You took the easy way out
Goddamn it, you dead
I mean, look what you did
I'm so fucking upset, how could you be so selfish?
Nigga, how could you be so selfish?
Now you're gone, you done left me so helpless
I wonder what God thinks
I hope you in God's place behaving yourself
Yo, what the fuck you gotta say for yourself?
Look, I really feel lost without you
I hate the fact you think the world is better off without you
And my mind's spinning, this is the line finish
Truth is, I don't care how you feel about my feelings
And I'd be lying to you if I told you I'm fine, listen
I know that you can hear me, all I need is like five minutes
I just wanna reach inside the casket and pull you out
I'm sorry this isn't something that we both could figure out
I wish I could hear you now
Is your soul missing?
I wonder if you could do it again, would you do it different?
Tell me what death is like
Was it meant for you, nick?
Did the heaven support it?
Are you fucking happy now?
Did you get what you wanted?
Isn't this what you wanted?
I feel the temperature falling
And you've been suicidal back day you were nine?
We was living on the edge, couldn't stay out the fire
johnathan told us we should take it one day at a time
And damn it, look at you now
Shit, but it's a new day
And if you can't hear me, it's probably too late
and taymor closed the book. he sighed feeling like a weight was lifted off of him. he picked up the book that was filled with pictures of nick and notes he had written.
he walked downstairs in the living room and threw the letter in the fireplace watching as it slowly disappeared.
☆☆
7 years later taymor and jonathan had one kid named nick. he was beautiful and was such a joy to everyone he was around.
everyone was at the house when jahseh finally brought up nick, "do you ever wonder what could happened if he didn't pull the trigger?"
johnathan modded, "every single day it runs through my head. what would we have been?"
"and then it hits me, all of his pain is gone. he's happy where he is." taymor smiled at nick who was splashing in the small pool stokeley had bought him.
nick then glanced at his parents and did something nobody had ever taught him, the little weird noise nick always made when water went into his ear.
tears filled taymor's eyes as he watched his son do excatly what nick always did in the pool.
"but maybe nick had a plan, maybe nick's still here with us.."
"it's ok, i'm sorry."
__________________________
the note that taymor wrote are joyner lucas lyrics. the song is really good and i suggest listening to it while you read.
