too pretty to cry

- chapter 2

trigger warning - mention of self harm

When we arrived home, I instantly went up to my room.
"What a day" I thought to myself.
I quickly changed into my Pjs and got into bed.
It took me quite some time to realize that I really met Sarah Paulson, and that she held my fucking hand.
Some time passed and I checked the time.
3 in the morning, great.

Since I didn't have anything to do, I was just scrolling through Twitter and of course I checked Sarah's account and she actually tweeted something.
'I met this girl today and she was by far the prettiest I've seen in forever. I kinda think I'm in love'
That's what the tweet said.
Did she talk about me? Somebody else? I don't know but I wish I did, dear god.
I was still thinking about the tweet until I finally drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I was greeted by my dad, who just wanted to tell me that he'd leave for work, like always.
After he left I knew I forgot about something.
HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST I WANTED TO TEXT SARAH
Of course my dumbass had to forget about it and I instantly grabbed my phone, put her number in my contacts and texted her.

Y/N: Hey Sarah, it's y/n. Sorry if I'm interrupting something but I just wanted to text you so you have my number :)

Sarah: Ohh yeah. You're not interrupting anything, honey🥰

Sarah: Is there a possibility we could meet up today? Doesn't matter where but I need to talk about something.

Y/N: Sure thing, meet me at my dads office at 5

Sarah: Okay, see you there

Heck now I really was nervous. What could she possibly want?
Probably tell me that I'm stupid haha.

I set my phone on the bet side table and got up to make myself ready for the day.
On my way to my bathroom I almost yeeted myself through the whole room but made it there alive.
I looked into the mirror and took a glimpse at my arms.
"Why?" I thought to myself.
"Why can't I be normal?" I then said.
I took off my sweater, yeah, I had  scars and I definitely wasn't proud of it.
My dad never saw and neither did I plan on telling him, mostly because I was too scared that he might put me in a mental hospital or something.
I looked at the clock and realized that I spent 20 minutes in my thoughts and I really had to hurry up.
I quickly washed my face and put on a sweater and some pants, yeah, a sweater and you know why.
"Honey, come downstairs please, we need to head off so I can drop you off at school" I heard my dad yelling from downstairs.
I then quickly grabbed my phone and my back and ran downstairs.
My dad was smiling and I like that. He's been sad a long time after my mom passed and I'm just glad to see him happy.
We then went out, got into the car and drove to my school.
In less than 20 we got there and I got out of the car.
"I'm coming home a bit later today, I'm meeting a few friend in town" I said.
"Alright kiddo, see you tonight" my dad said and then drove off.
I sighed and went inside, I really hate school but you gotta do what you gotta do right?
"Y/N, heyyyy my favorite lesbiaaaan" my best friend Evan approached me.
I started laughing "You are a real dork you know that?"
He then nodded and gave me a fist bump.
"OUCH" I yelled out "I sometime really hate you, you know that?"
"I love you too, Y/N" he blew me a kiss "Let's go to class" he said and dragged me into our first class.
The first few lessons went by quickly and then it hit the last home, psychology.
I'll never understand why I took this class, especially after all what happened and to add the cherry on top, my teacher hated me.

15 minutes into the lesson, we came to a topic which gave me goosebumps.
"So now we're gonna talk about self harming and as we all know, we have somebody who likes do to that every other day" he said and I knew that he was referring to me.

I felt eyes on me and I knew that I was about to cry so I looked over to Evan and waited for the nod.
He finally gave it and I raised my hand.
"What Y/N?" my teacher said with and annoyed look.
"Could I go to the bathroom real quick?" I asked.
"Ugh okay, but be quick" he then answered, when I took my back.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he said as he raised his voice.
"Well what if I am on my period and I just don't want to run around with all my pads and be like 'HI I'M ON MY PERIOD, IT'S SO COOL'" I said, trying to hold my tears back.
"Go now, but still be quick" he said annoyed as I left.

I practically ran to the bathroom and locked myself in one of the stalls and just started sobbing.
Then I took my phone out and texted my dad

Y/N: Dad? Please pick me up, I don't feel well

Dad🤩: Oh I'm so sorry honey, but I'm very busy right now.

Y/N: No it's fine, see you later

I then thought for some time and clicked on Sarah's contact, no, I can't do that.
But... what if she really can help me, I mean, she's a woman and women help each other better sometimes, right?
I put all my courage together and texted her.

Y/N: Hey Sarah... I really don't want to disturb you with anything but I really need your help...

I had to wait for some minutes until I got a reply

Sarah: You're not disturbing me. What do you need help with?

Y/N: I'm having a tough time currently and I just can't stay at school right now and I know that this is too much to ask but is there any possibility that you could pick me up from my school?

Sarah: Oh god of course, text me the address and I'll be there as soon as possible

I then texted her the address and then got to the front of the school to wait.
It didn't take long until I saw her coming around, stopping right before me.
She opened the door "Get inside honey, we got a lot to discuss" she said and I then got in.

a/n

oof i still don't know what to think of this but i have 2 other chapters ready :)
leave requests on what should happen if you want ✨