too pretty to cry

- chapter 5

trigger warning - mention of self harm

When I woke up I was on the floor, Sarah on the couch sleeping.
I got my phone and went on Twitter to catch up with whatever was going on again, all the drama and shit. I did that for about 30 minutes before Sarah started to wake up.
She looked at me.

"Did I kick you off the couch" she asked while rubbing her eyes.

"I don't know but I sure as hell would feel honored if you did"

She then laughed "I'm sorry y/n"

"Ugh silly, don't be" I said while
getting up.

"What are we having for breakfast, I'm staaaaaarving" I complained while laughing.

"Whatever you want but I was kind if thinking to go to a café at the beach" she suggested which made me smile.

"Sure but I gotta go home and change so I don't look like I got laid"

"Meet me there in an hour?" she asked.

"Sure" I said while heading towards the door "See you then" I gave her a smile and headed home.
Back home I silently opened the door and stepped in "Dad?" I called out to see if he was home.

He then came out of the kitchen and smiled "Hey Honey, how was the night?" he asked and gave me a hug.

"Uh great actually, we got pizza"

"That's great" he said and smiled.

I went upstairs and took a shower, now I only had to choose what I wanted to wear.
I was kind of thinking about something casual, not too fancy.
Within the next few minutes I was fully dressed and went downstairs.

"Going out again?" my dad asked, raising a brow at me.

"Just for breakfast" I said as I headed out the door.

When I arrived I looked around trying to spot Sarah, when I felt two arms around me.

"Hey you" she said.

I turned around "You look beautiful"

"Ahh no" she said blushing "you do"

We sat down and looked at the menu, trying to decide what to get. I was pretty quick with deciding so I took the chance to admire the pretty dork in front of me.

"Are you staring?" Sarah asked, looking up.

"Me? Staring? Never"

Just as Sarah was about to say something, a waiter came up and took our orders.
I noticed him staring at Sarah which made me a little jealous.

After a few minutes he came back with our food and sat down next to Sarah.

"Uh, would you like to go out with me sometime?" he asked her while scratching his head.
Before Sarah could answer I decided to speak up and took Sarah's hand.

"Listen to me buddy, this woman is taken and even if she wasn't, there would be no chance in this world that she'd actually go on a date with you. And now do me a favor and let us eat in peace before I actually lose it" I said smiling.

He quickly stood up and left.

Sarah looked at me with a shocked face.
"You really told him off?" she asked.

"Duuuuh"

"And since when am I taken?"

"I just...Y- You know I said it so he would fuck off"

"Thank you y/n, I really appreciate that" she said smiling.

I took a sip of my coffee, not noticing that Sarah secretly took a picture of me.
She smiled while typing something on her phone.

"What are you doing?" I asked, setting my cup down.

"You'll see in a second"

Just as she finished her sentence my phone buzzed and I took it out of my pocket.

mssarahcatharinepaulson tagged you in a post

I smirked and opened Instagram to see a picture of me, sipping my coffee.

I then read the caption.

breakfast with my favorite person🧸🧸

"You are too soft you know that?" I said, putting my phone back into my pocked.

"I know" she said smiling.

Once we finished eating we paid and then left the café.

"Wanna go for a walk?" I said, taking Sarah's hand.

"Sure"

We walked for a while, talking about many different topics when I suddenly stopped walking.

"Is everything alright?"

I shook my head "I have school tomorrow and I'm scared"

Sarah then hugged me, trying to comfort me "It's gonna be alright, I promise"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes y/n, You're amazing and you can do that. Don't be scared."

"Thank you...I should get going now though, my dad is probably wondering what's taking me so long" I said with a sad voice.

"I have the next week off so you can come by at any time if you want to"

"Yeah that would be great. I gotta go now" I said and gave her a quick peck on her lips.
I then walked off as quick as possible.

"What the fuck did I do? I told her that I wanted to take things slow, Jesus Christ I'm so stupid" I whispered to myself while walking home.

When I arrived home, I instantly went up to the bathroom and locked the door.

"I'M SO FUCKING STUPID" I yelled out while searching for my blades.

I took out a box in the very corner of my cupboard and took a new, shiny blade out of it.

My head told me to do it but I didn't want to hurt Sarah.

I placed the blade onto my wrist and applied light pressure.

"You deserve it you fucking bitch" I whispered to myself and pulled the blade through.
In a matter of seconds there was blood dripping from all over my arm.

"Shit shit SHIT" I cursed while putting bandages around my arm.

In panic I threw the blade back in the box which I hid back in my cupboard.

After doing so, I got out of the bathroom, jumped into bed and started to softly cry.

After some time I eventually fell asleep.

a/n
i'd really appreciate if you'd tell me what you think about this fanfiction so far <3