It Only Takes a Second

- XIII -

(A/N: TRIGGER WARNING ON THIS CHAPTER!!!!!!! It's important to note that this chapter will go into in depth and graphic descriptions of self harm, suicidal thoughts, mentions of abuse! If you're sensitive to these, please do not read this chapter! That being said, this is a longer chapter, which is why it took so long to update, but I wanted to make sure that I was writing this as seriously as I could, because it is a serious topic. I personally have not dealt with anything like this, but I know people that have, and it is a serious topic that is different for everyone. Since nobody has the exact same experience, please bare with me on how accurate this is to any personal experiences you may have had or known about. Stay safe, and thanks for reading.)

*

"Clint, I need you to bring me another unit of O Neg," Bruce ordered as worked diligently to stitch the deep gashes on Harry's arms up.

Clint appeared at his side in seconds, beginning to hook Harry to another liter of blood. Behind him, through the double doors, Tony was pacing back and forth while watching his friends work hurriedly to save Harry.

"Tony!" Pepper appeared breathlessly, looking disheveled despite her professional attire. "Oh God, is he okay? I came as fast as I could."

Her eyes landed on Harry lying pale and unconscious on the bed. Thick dressings lined the already stitched wounds, and an IV was hanging loosely from his non-injured hand, the tube intertwining with heart rate monitors, tubes for the oxygen mask that was strapped to his face, and the tubes that were delivering more blood to replenish what he had lost.

Tony turned to face her, but he couldn't quite manage to reach her eyes. This was his fault- he should have stayed with Harry after he got the news. He knew it wasn't a good idea to let him be alone.

"Tony, don't you dare blame yourself for this," Pepper scolded gently, pulling him into a tight embrace. She already knew what was running through his mind- it was the same thing that always did whenever someone got hurt. He always had to blame himself.

"She's right. There's no way you could have predicted this," Steve placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze as he appeared from where he had been informing Natasha of the news.

The spy hadn't taken it very well, and had disappeared to the roof so that she could think. But she told Steve to call her the moment anything happened. Good or bad.

"How are you holding up?" Steve asked the couple with an empathetic expression.

"I just don't know how to feel. I thought he was doing better. I should have expected this. I'm hurt. I'm sad. I'm angry, I'm-"

"Tony, listen to me," a voice said behind them, and the three Avengers turned to face a tearful Natasha. She took a few steps towards them, a look of seriousness on her face.

"You have to promise me that no matter how angry you are, you will not take it out on Harry. I know this all seems like it's his fault and could have been prevented, and in a way, it is and could have been, but he didn't do this for the attention. He didn't do this as an act of defiance. He did this because he didn't know how else to protect us and himself. He was trying to save himself the pain of being hurt again."

Tony swallowed the anger towards Harry, and the feeling was instead replaced with blinding guilt.

"And don't blame yourself either. You didn't know what was going to happen. You didn't make him do this. He didn't do this because of you," Natasha was now standing in front of Tony, staring at him without breaking the intense eye contact.

"Tony, we are probably the reason he didn't go all the way. The reason he's still here. Fighting."

Pepper anticipated the sobs before anyone else. Quickly, she pulled Tony into a tight hug and he buried his face in the crook of her neck.