January 12th, 2019:
After all of the crazy award shows and hectic schedules, Jinhwan felt as if she had to get something off her chest. She was fully aware of how she felt and how she could fix it.
All her thoughts were jumbled around her head as she was laying in her dorm room. She has been so stressed out lately from trying to keep up with her schedules and school work.
As she was thinking Taeyong and Johnny came into her room. The members have noticed that something was off and began to worry about it and wanted to tell her boyfriend but they knew he was busy.
Jinhwan sat up as they sat on both sides of her and they asked her "What's up?"
After venting to them and them giving her advice, she knew what she had to do even though it hurt. So she picked up her phone and texted Baekhyun to meet her at the company practice room later that day telling him that it was urgent
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3:45 pm at SM Entertainment Practice Room 3:
Jinhwan arrived at the practice room early so she could collect her thoughts so she could be more stable when she talked to him.
roughly 20 minutes later:
Jinhwan was sitting on the floor listening to music when Baekhyun opened the door and went to her and gave her a kiss.
"Are you ok? What did you need to tell me?" He asked looking at her glossy eyes with concern
With a shaky voice, she said "I don't want to do this, but I know I need to because it hurts being away from you so much because of your hectic schedule and I am going to be away for a long time for tour and I do not think it is fair for both of us to be together. I still love you, but I can't handle being in a relationship where we see each other every two months and meet up then act like everything is ok. It hurts even more because even when we are together we can't even go in public because the company won't allow us to announce our relationship, so I think it is best that we break up"
At this point, tears were streaming down both of their faces and they both were sad because they both understood that being in a relationship at this point in their career was not fair for either of them.
"Can't we just try powering through, please. You mean the world to me and I don't want to lose you. We will call each other more and facetime more. Please." Baekhyun pleaded with tears going down his face
Jinhwan went up to him and hugged him tightly and whispered to him "I don't want to put this on you, you deserve to be in a relationship with a girl that is not going to be gone for the next seven months, you deserve someone who will be there for you all the time. I still love you, nothing will change the fact that you were my first love and I will continue to love you. But we both know that things will get harder and it is not fair for both of us."
"I know, but I'm not ready to let you go yet," he whispered back
They stayed in the practice room, still hugging each other for a while when Baekhyun's phone suddenly rang, but he did not move.
She was about to move back but he pulled her back and said: "Please stay for a little longer, I'm not ready for us to end yet."
All Jinhwan did was move closer to Baekhyun and snuggle into his kneck.
After a while, they let go of each other, looked into each other's eyes and knew that t was time to end things. Baekhyun was on his way to the door, then turned to Jinhwan and said," You were the best person I could have had, you were too good for me and I hope that you regret nothing from our relationship."
As he was about to leave she walked up to him and looked him in the eyes and replied " Just cause we broke up doesn't mean that what we had was magical and beautiful. I did not deserve you, you were the best boyfriend I could have asked for. It just was not our time, but I hope you still know that I will still be here for you no matter what, through thick and thin I will still support everything you do. "
He gave her a peck on the forehead and said "Thank you, I love you."
She watched him walk away with tears in her eyes
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Jinhwan walked back to the 127 dorm
After a 30 minute walk, she pushed the doors open to see Taeyong, Johnny, Jaehyun, Yuta, and Mark.
Jaehyun was the first person to notice the girl had tears running down her faces and immediately stood up and embraced the girl into a warm hug.
He brought her to the couch and laid her down, with her head in his lap and her legs resting on Mark's lap.
They all listened carefully as she said: "We broke up and it hurts, I'm not ready for what we had to be over."
Yuta spoke up and said " well you know it for good. You both were not happy with how little you were seeing each other, you guys loved each other but that wasn't enough for the long distance."
"I know. But I just... wanted it to work out, I guess." She replied with her voice cracking at the end as her mouth became drier and her throat felt there were needles in it.
Taeyong then motioned her over. He hugged her then sat down on the couch so she looked like a koala.
"Everything will be ok. We will be here for you every step up the way. We love you and want you to be happy." Taeyong said
With that said she began sobbing and then began to hiccup into Taeyong's kneck.
She spent the rest of the night surrounded by her members and being comforted.
