Expect the Unexpected ➳ Ashton Irwin

Worries and kisses

My eyes flutter open slowly, adjusting to the morning light and I sit up, ignoring the slight dizziness it brings me. I realize I'm no longer on the couch but in Ashton's room. That could only mean one thing; He carried me in here.

That thought alone makes my cheeks heat up and a smile spread across my face. He is so sweet. Memories of our first kiss replay over again in my head, my fingers running over my lips as I think of how gentle his were on mine.

I know I said I didn't want to kiss him so soon and though that's still very true, I wouldn't change it for the world. I don't care if it started out as a distraction because it turned out to be the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time.

I wonder what the time is. I look around wondering where he would put my phone and see it sitting on his bedside table.... Along with my bracelets.

Fuck!

No, no, no! Please god no! Why can't the one thing that's actually good in my life, just stay that way for once? I can feel my lip start to tremble as I think of how I'm going to have to explain them to Ashton. Fuck! I look down to my wrists, feeling disgusted as I see them littered with scars and burns.

This isn't how I wanted to tell him, I was hoping for a little more time, hoping that we would be a little more official maybe. Just something, anything to reassure me I wouldn't loose him. I can't loose him.

I've known him for what? A week, tops? And already he has become the only sliver of light in my life other than my parents and even that doesn't give me much comfort considering they're my parents. They have to support me through this. But Ashton, he doesn't have to do anything for me, he can walk away just like that and that's what scares me so much.

Taking in a shaky breath, I push back the tears that threaten to fall and grab my phone, noticing that it's 9:22 am, before getting out of bed and following the sound of quiet humming all the way into the kitchen.

I stand in the kitchen doorway just admiring the view for what might be the last time. I smile to myself as I sneakily watch Ashton hum to himself while making breakfast, which by the looks of it is Vegemite on toast. What a guy. The way his back muscles flex beneath his see-through white shirt with every move almost makes me drool onto the kitchen tiles.

All too soon, he turns around, just about dropping the toast when he sees me. He smiles but its not his usual cherry smile, more of a sympathetic one. Great. Just what I need, more pity.

I sigh, taking a seat on a stool at the kitchen island while Ashton finishes preparing our breakfast. There's an awkward tension and all I want to do right now is crawl up in a ball and cry. This sucks. I don't know what I did to deserve all this shit but I just can't handle it anymore. It seems like no matter what I do, the world will always be against me.

Ashton pushes the plate in front of me but I make no move to eat it. He sighs and walks toward me but I look down at my lap, playing with my fingers and hoping he gets the idea that I don't want to talk about this and just drop it. But with my luck, that probably wont happen. This is it. He's going to ask me and then hate me once I tell him. I feel like I'm a dam just waiting to burst into a river of tears.

"Violet." Ashton whispers.

I shake my head, still not daring to look up. My lip starts to hurt from biting it too hard, trying to keep it from trembling, failing as a small whimper falls from my lips.

"Violet look at me," Ashton demands, his voice stern yet still as soft as velvet.

I slowly look up, my watery eyes meeting his warm hazel ones. He gently takes hold of my forearm and pulls me up from my seat, bringing me into a bone crushing hug. As surprised as I am, it doesn't take long before I hug back just as tightly. We stay like that for at least ten minutes.