Owari no Seraph Comedy Fanfiction

I've Lost All Me Gold

Lacus was sitting on the lounge looking at the list of items on his and Rene's shopping list. "Rene, I have a problem," he said.
"What's your problem?" Said Rene with a sigh. He still hadn't forgiven Lacus for buying the new violently purple fridge. "I've lost all me gold!" Said Lacus "I'm broke."
"Well if you hadn't bought that fridge you wouldn't be. Would you?" Said Rene knowingly. His tones scared Lacus who knew if he didn't get some money soon he would be in big trouble.
"Don't worry Rene I will find a way to get some gold," Lacus said.
"You better," Said Rene. Rene didn't see Lacus for the rest of the day. But he wasn't worried. Lacus could take care of himself.
The next day there was a knock on the door. Rene opened it expecting to see Lacus. To his surprise he saw the Seventh Progenitor Ferid Bathory. "Uhh greetings my Lord. What can I do for you?" Asked Rene.
"All my money has been stolen and I want you to catch the their," Said Ferid and left. Rene mentally groaned. Lacus what have you done now! He thought. Meanwhile Ferid was not satisfied with just asking Rene to catch the culprit. He decided to take the issue to Urd.

In a rich looking manor house a golden haired vampire was sitting in a noble looking chair.
"Good morning Urd-sama," Said Ferid.
"Good morning Ferid," Said Urd. He didn't look happy in the least. But then thought Ferid, Urd never looked happy any way. "I just thought I'd let you know that someone has stolen all my money," Said Ferid.
"And why are you telling me this?" Asked Urd.
"So you can catch the culprit," Said Ferid, surprised at the question.
"Isn't that something your guards should be doing?" Said Urd icily. Ferid was saved the trouble of answers by a commotion at the end of the room.
"Lord Ferid I've caught the culprit," Said Rene in a strained voice.
"But you told me to find a way to get me gold back!" Wined Lacus.
"I didn't mean steal!" Exclaimed Rene. Honestly how thick could you get.
"Enough! Both of you will be spending the next two days collecting livestock!" Shouted Urd, exasperated.