In the Wings

s i x

"Don't look at me like that. I never asked you to come," Lynne barked at Sonal in the middle of the hospital lobby.

"Mother, can you please lower your voice? People are starting to stare."

Lynne nervously looked around and turned back to Sonal, "Nothing would have changed if you weren't here."

"I came to the hospital because I care about Dad, not because of you," Sonal said, wincing because she knew she was being rude.

"That's fine, as long as you don't have an attitude about it and take it out on me."

Having heard enough, Sonal said, "I'm going outside to get some air."

"Oh of course! Just like her to leave right when things get hard!" Lynne said to Sonal's brothers, who were calmly watching the scene unfold.

"Don't worry Mom. Everything is going to be fine," Amar, the older of the brothers, said.

Lynne smiled and leaned over to kiss him on the forehead, "How did I get so lucky with you two?"

Amar and Sourav, Sonal's twin brothers, were everything that Sonal wasn't, in her mother's eyes at least. Born three years after Sonal, the boys were tall, handsome football players with 4.0 GPAs who still managed to make time to go grocery shopping for Lynne every weekend and bake cookies for their teachers during the holidays. Except for their good grades, Sonal and her brothers had nothing in common.

Outside, Sonal thought about the conversation she just had with her mother. It had begun like any other one, with Lynne pleasantly greeting her while silently analyzing her every move. Sonal had noticed as her green eyes narrowed and stared at her legs.

"Yeah, I talked to the nurse and he said that Dad was still in the OR."

Sonal flicked her gaze back to her mother, after turning to motion at the front desk of the hospital. She, however, apparently had her mind elsewhere.

"Mother?"

"Yes?" Lynne quickly met Sonal's eyes once again, but she could see the remnants of judgement lingering in her irises.

"What? What's wrong?" Sonal glanced down at her legs, where her mother had been looking, and it hit her. It was extremely hot out that day, almost 90 degrees, and Sonal had traded in her usual capris for the only pair of shorts she still owned. She silently cursed herself, wondering how she had forgotten to change back into pants before arriving at the hospital.

"Nothing. It's just...never mind."

Sonal ignored her comment and pulled out her phone, where she had taken detailed notes of what the nurse had said, ready to launch into a report. But interrupting was one of her mother's defining qualities.

"Sonal, I just have to tell you. You look sick."

"Sick? Mother, I promise I'm perfectly healthy."

"How can you say that? Have you seen yourself? Go to the bathroom right now and look in the mirror."

Sonal heard one of her brothers' cough, and looking up, she caught both of them peering at her legs too. Suddenly, she was brought back to high school, when she felt like everyone in the house was constantly against her, and in that moment, she had the burning desire to melt into the ground.

"Mother, I am fine."

"You can keep lying to yourself, but not to me. If something is going on again, you need to tell me right now so we can figure this out before people start to notice. And for the love of god, put some pants on."