AN: We've made it to the fifth chapter already. I'm trying to update when I can, as well as, move this story along. Please be patient because it takes time to keep writing plus Iam a full-time single mom to a beautiful 2yr old daughter who demands my attention. :) So we're getting ready for Rachel to open up to Sebastian about what she's feeling. More smytheberry moments. So enjoy . :)
Rachel POV
Rachel and Sebastian finally fell asleep after she was awoken by a bad dream. Iam really glad that Sebastian is here with me. I wish I could understand what is going on with me. I don't like feeling weak. And I don't get it because its not like iam the only one in that school that day. And now iam engaged. Am I making the right choices. I've got New York and my Broadway dreams that I've planned since forever.
I suddenly wake up again and look over to see Sebastian lying beside me. He looks so peaceful. I gently run my hands over his handsome features and fee so lucky. A few months ago I thought Finn Hudson was my soul mate. But perhaps that has changed or what I envisioned for myself because of my desire to be a star and popular.
Finn Hudson and I have had a rocky relationship. He accepted me and seems to live me but he could never make up his mind what or who he wants. Or if life isn't going his way, he blames others especially me. He says he will go to New York with me but he doesn't have a clue where he wants to be. I don't want to go to California. I don't want to stay in Lima. He always flip flops between Quinn and myself or whoever catches his eye. He tends to worry about his reputation. So he flip flops between football or glee. Then there was the time he lost our chances by kissing me in front of thousands. Don't get me wrong I still love Finn, but I think it was more of an IDE what I thought was supposed to be like. He's with Quinn once again, and I just can't go back to him. I'd like to think Iam becoming stronger and more confident.
That is not due to Finn, but to the unexpected person laying beside me. When I first met Sebastian it definitely wasn't love at first sight. We met at Lima Bean where he kept flirting with Blaine. I thought he was arrogant and full of himself. Also I thought he was so gorgeous until he mentioned he was gay. I couldn't have another Blaine 2.0. I was attracted I admit but I had loyalty to Finn still. And he's with my competition. But, after that we kept running into each other and I noticed my attraction to him was growing. After the "Michael" incident and Blaine was slushied I was disappointed and upset with him. He hurt my Blaine who never hurt anyone. I was angry but in some way I related because I'm no perfect. Did you know I sent a girl to a crack house because I was jealous and threatened by her talent. No one would let me forget, just as I'm sure Sebastian is constantly reminded of things he's done in the past.
I get up slowly trying not to wake Sebastian. I walk down to the kitchen to make some tea. Maybe that will make me feel better. Once tea is made, I went to sit on the couch and wrap a blanket over my legs. The house is so quiet.
You probably wondering when Sebastian and I became an item or started dating. Well...
*Flashback *
Location: Party at Dalton with Warblers
I remember Blaine calling me to invite me to a party at Dalton Academy. Kurt wanted me there especially because he was worried about Sebastian stealing Blaine from him even though he really had no reason to not trust him because Blaine was head over heels for Kurt. I mean sure it hurt that I was rejected by Blaine when after I kissed him he proclaimed he was 100% gay.The bright side is I got another brother/bestie out of it.
phone conv
Rachel: Hello?
Blaine: My Maria how are you darling?
Rachel: *giggle* Well my Tony Iam peachy despite another breakup with Finn..
Blaine: Oh no Rach do you need me to bring ice cream, tissues and Moulin Rouge to your house for cry fest??
