Something

7. Let him go

Meredith was being interrogated by Sheriff Stilinski but she didn’t want to talk so I spend the night there. Waiting for Meredith to tell me why the hell she would want to kill us all. I was alone at the police station. Stiles went to the hospital because after all, he was way more injured than me, but I wished he was here. I tried to talk to Meredith a couple of times but Sheriff Stilinski was too worried about me to let me. He told me to go home more than once, but I couldn’t, even though she tried to kill me and my friends, there was something about her that made me stay.

I don’t know when, my eyes closed and Parrish woke me up somewhere around 6 am. Again, he tried to take me home. But I didn’t want to. I insisted to talk to Meredith and finally, I did.

She looked as tired as me, but she had this gleam in her eyes that told me she wasn’t the benefactor. I asked Sheriff Stilinski to leave me alone with her, but Meredith talked right in that moment and said:

“I’m just going to talk to Peter, Peter Hale”

It wasn’t a surprise, at least for me; I always knew that Peter had something to do in all of this; after all, his name was never on the list. Before Parrish called Peter, I went to the restrooms to wash my face and when I looked myself into the mirror it wasn’t my reflection what I saw, it was Stiles, he was sitting in a hospital room and Malia was with him, I couldn’t hear what they were saying but I saw how they were getting closer, and closer until they kissed. Why was I seeing that? A police officer came into the bathroom and I thought she was seeing the same thing as I was, a mirror showing two teenagers kissing, but she seemed not to notice, in fact, she didn’t see a thing. Is it just me? I ran out of the restrooms and I bumped into Peter.

“Hello you”

Parrish, Stilinski, Peter and I went to the interrogatory room where Meredith was waiting.

Peter entered the room

“What do you need me for? “

“You”

“Do I know you?”

Meredith’s face changed. She seemed scared.

“Answer me, DO I KNOW YOU?”

Peter stood up and Meredith backed off quickly. Parrish entered the room and aimed his gun towards Peter.

“Peter, sit down”

Peter didn’t. He moved forward, close and closer to Meredith

“If you don’t tell me then I’ll have to see it”

He took his claws out and introduces them inside Meredith’s neck. The same thing Scott did to me.

We spent 20 minutes in an uncomfortable silence, Parrish and Stilinski holding their guns and Meredith and Peter bonded until Peter let go. He did not say a thing; he didn’t tell us what he saw. But I knew. Somehow Meredith sent me her thoughts and I saw it. I saw how Peter, while he was in a comma after the fire told Meredith about the dead pool. He wanted to create a new pack, a strong one. To do so he had to kill every supernatural creature that ever existed. Peter has always been the benefactor.

When Peter left,  I was alone with Meredith. She wasn’t pale anymore and she looked way better than she did before Peter came in.

“How did you know” I asked her

“How did you know when to start the dead pool?”

“I heard you scream”

At first I didn’t get it, I’ve screamed so many times I’ve lost count. But then I realized

“You were screaming for help, that’s how I knew I had to start it”

The night Allison died. She was the beginning of the dead pool.

“You tried to help me by killing me? It doesn’t make sense Meredith”

“We are all monsters Lydia, we don’t deserve to be here. “

“No, that’s not true”

“Werewolves are violent, they will kill someone sooner or later, banshees are crazy, and they lose their minds too. We are monsters”

“Not all monsters do monstrous things”

“Like who?”

“Like Scott”

“No”- Meredith sat next to me. - “Like you Lydia”

I don’t know why but that assertion made my heart break. When Meredith left to Eichen House I sat alone in the police station. That was the moment I chose to cry. I was crying because Meredith knew all the effort I was doing to save my friends, she knew I didn’t want to lose anyone, she knew that I felt like a monster, a weirdo, I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin. And hearing someone else saying that I was no monster, it was too much for me. I think I spent half an hour crying in the cold and uncomfortable police station bench when I heard a noise. I thought it may be Parrish coming back to take me home and this time I was ready to let him. But it wasn’t him.

“Lydia?” Stiles

“What are you doing here Stiles?  You should be at the hospital”

“I’m fine I swear. The question is what are you doing here?”

“Do you know? About Peter?”

“Yes, I was with Malia when my dad told me”

“Oh” I don’t even know why I was so surprised. I saw them together. But why?

“Let me take you home”

“You should be with Malia”

“No, I have to be here with you right now”

“I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!”

Why was I yelling at him?

“Lydia, what is this all about?”

“Nothing, Stiles. I just want to go to sleep”

“Then let me take you home”

“NO. Okay? No. I want to be alone and being with you right now is the last thing I want”

“Oh… okay then”

Stiles turned around to leave but he didn’t

“You know Lydia? I am tired of your rudeness. I’ve always treated you well”

He was breaking my heart into pieces. I had to break his too.

“Because you had a crush on me, right? Move on Stiles. I will never like you”

He said nothing. Stiles left me alone sitting in that bench. I did not think any of those things I said. I wanted him to be happy and I knew he had to forget about me. He needed someone like Malia not me. But mainly I said all those horrible things to him because I’ve realized I like him and telling him, accepting how I felt, was just going to make things harder. I stood up, took my coat and asked Parrish to finally take me home. We didn’t talk on our way to my house. I didn’t say goodbye. I opened my room’s door and I lay in bed. Tears streaming down my face because I was sure that night, I didn’t just lost a friend, I’d lost him.