Imagines ;)

Other Side of the Game

Genesis.
Nobody really ever tells us how hard life is going to hit you after high school. Well kind of but not this early. The decisions that you have to make are drastically different. It's not "What should I wear today?", or "What do I want for breakfast?". It's "Fuck it, I'll put on whatever and grab whatever to eat, do I really want my baby?". To be specific, that's more of one of my decisions to make.
They also don't tell you how friendships and relationships may crumble. People who you thought would be with you when you're old with kids can disappear right in front of your eyes. Some went off to college, military, stayed local, died, or moved. Chris and I stayed local but sometimes I wish he hadn't. He could've went to college for basketball but he got too wrapped up in the game he forgot all about it. I didn't mind what he did, I didn't knock his hustle. Plus it paid the bills. But now that I'm with child and, our connection isn't what it used to be, I'm scared even more. I never really was the religious type but, I find myself praying throughout the week. I love Chris. I love him from the way he lies to how he smiles when he holds me. I love him when he's in the same space as me to when he's gone with little to no contact. I understand how complicated the game is, to a certain extent. I just don't understand how I didn't see myself slowly losing the love of my life.

"So I just sit here and wait while you're out of town? What if some shit goes down like the other few times?" I said through gritted teeth.
"It's not, we got this. I'll te-"
"Text me whenever you can." I finished his tired ass sentence, and huffed as I felt the baby kick for the first time. My eyes went wide and I placed my hand in the exact spot I felt the kick.
"Babe you good?" Chris rushed over to me.
"He kicked for the first time."
"You mean she?" he placed his hands on each side of my stomach.

                When I told Chris that I was pregnant, his eyes lit up as he smiled. He held me closer that night and things were smooth. The further I progress into my pregnancy, the worse I feel, the worse our relationship gets. The more I cry and worry for him. I worry more about our child now. What happens when our baby comes? Will things continue to be what it is now? Will it get worse? There were times when Chris went MIA for a few weeks almost a month. He tells me not to worry but it's so hard. I only feel sane when he comes home in one piece.
If you think about it, being in the game isn't too different from being in the military. You got people worrying and waiting for your return while you're risking your life. Sometimes you can't keep in touch as often, or see them often. You have to play the waiting game. I pray everyday that I don't lose.

I laid on the armrest of the couch staring at Rick and Morty play on the tv. I was interested but then again I wasn't. Today was one of the many days where I bounced from the bedroom, kitchen, and living room. It's a few unread text messages and missed calls in my phone and there's no cares left in my basket to answer. I care more about Chris walking through the front door and holding me. For now, I just hold his sweater. Why can't he just work like a normal person? All of this stress festering inside me isn't good for the baby. What if he doesn't come home and it's just me and the baby? I don't think I'd be able to make it on my own. Would I rather have our child visit him in prison or at a grave?

                The amount of talks I had with Chris' mother and mine give me some sort of tranquility. They often kept me company and went with me to my appointments. Chris was there for a few of them but not a lot. He was there to hear the heartbeat for the first time and I'm thankful. At that moment I felt like I was living the life that I came to live. Even though I have a life full of stress, I have my connection with Chris. The love we share keeps me going sometimes.
Tonight, I get to be in his arms. I get to kiss all over his face, show him how deep my loves runs for him. I start to wonder why it has to be so complicated as I stare at him.
"What's on your mind?" he asked.
"Pray with me," I smiled at him and closed my eyes. "Dear Father God, thank you for this day and keeping Chris safe. Please forgive us of our sins, we are not perfect. I pray that you keep Chris balanced and protected by your angels." I held his hands and continued to pray.
              I prayed for better days, good health, family and friends. I prayed that even though Chris became the sun and I the moon, that we make it through. Lord knows that I wouldn't be able to make it on my own without Chris in my life. I can't even think about life without Chris.

"No matter what happens, I'm your wife. I love you like I love myself. I want you to do what's right but it's your life. I'm not trying to bind and control it. You gotta do what you gotta do."
"Don't worry baby, God's gonna see us through." Chris kissed my lips softly.

okay so it's been a hot minute lmao. i promise you, i forgot that i had this book and got inspired to write again now that i'm in college. so obviously, this imagine is based on Erykah Badu's song Other Side of the Game. Whatever is in italics, is a small flashback. I wanted to make this long enough but I'm also in a rush to finish this and publish it already so that's why it's short. I have two more that I'm working on btw 👀. so be on the lookout. also give my other stories a read pleeaaasseee.

just giving y'all a couple options.....😇. i hope y'all enjoy, requests are open so message me. or if you have an idea message me. don't be a stranger 👻!! comment 💭, vote 🗳, share 📲 allat!! thank you for reading, i appreciate it and you 💗🤞🏽 -andréa